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fearcommaashley

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fearcommaashley
  • Town/Country : Chandler, Arizona
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2099
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About fearcommaashley : The name is Ashley

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fearcommaashley's favorite FMLs

Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML

#18442495
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7861) - you deserved it (50656)

On 12/06/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

#18439975
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13306) - you deserved it (37028)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, Santa ran over my foot with a Segway. FML

#18435117
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20494) - you deserved it (2420)

On 12/05/2011 at 8:21am - misc - by areyouserial - United States

Today, I noticed an old bell at the bar so I rang it. It turns out that when you ring the bell, you buy shots for the whole bar. FML

#18433358
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13666) - you deserved it (42540)

On 12/05/2011 at 12:41am - money - by Christina - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML

#18393059
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25808) - you deserved it (3211)

On 11/30/2011 at 9:57am - love - by preggers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because we watched a movie that Taylor Lautner was in, she claims they made special eye contact and they are destined to be together. FML

#18379052
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37742) - you deserved it (4034)

On 11/28/2011 at 8:33pm - love - by hot_shot (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, we were going around the table, telling everyone what we were thankful for. My girlfriend said she was thankful for her vibrator, because I can't please her like it can. My family thought this was funny. FML

#18346597
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35591) - you deserved it (8083)

On 11/25/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by notgoodenough - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

#18316439
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31045) - you deserved it (2950)

On 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by religionbites621 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I popped a boner while my braces were being tightened. FML

#18309491
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27822) - you deserved it (5312)

On 11/21/2011 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML

#18286720
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32834) - you deserved it (23909)

On 11/19/2011 at 3:05am - intimacy - by Tyler - United States

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

#18255063
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33867) - you deserved it (18244)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy (woman) - United States

Today, I had to renew my driver's license at the DMV. Earlier, I was in a play and was still covered in stage makeup. I didn't realize that not all of it had come off until after my picture was taken and put on my new license. For the next three years, I'll be the guy with the dark eyeliner. FML

#18247557
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19301) - you deserved it (7657)

On 11/14/2011 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML

#18167673
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12433) - you deserved it (24696)

On 11/05/2011 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, while I was shopping, I saw my old friend from high school. After a bit of talking, I ended up giving her my phone number. I wrote it on an old receipt. Little did I remember, the receipt was from when I bought lube and condoms. FML

#18146927
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12414) - you deserved it (25498)

On 11/03/2011 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by snownerd - United States (Ohio)

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML

#18145171
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60370) - you deserved it (4435)

On 11/03/2011 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



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