fcuk

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fcuk

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 27151
  • Number of comments : 137
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About fcuk : i never ever make accounts on website like this. but fmylife is just awesome.

fcuk's page activity

Visits<b>JimonSern</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 5:45am<b>ChippyChoppy</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 5:21am<b>redstone7693</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 2:45pm<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 9:05pm<b>Wondermage</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 4:01am<b>Ashd09</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 11:15am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 12:49am<b>billionair11</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 5:28pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 10:34pm<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 12:19pm<b>graceinsheepwear</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 1:39am<b>BlueMoonLight</b> - the 04/01/2013 at 1:30am<b>tonyrules</b> - the 01/25/2013 at 10:49am<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:34am<b>ZeniaT</b> - the 11/04/2010 at 4:39am<b>TheComputerGuy96</b> - the 06/19/2010 at 7:53am<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/04/2009 at 6:19am<b>conlife</b> - the 09/01/2009 at 12:59am

fcuk's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

fcuk's favorite FMLs

Today, I was woken up to my mom playing the piano awfully. I screamed down the stairs "you suck, stop playing!" Turns out it was my 5 year old cousin playing a recital. For my entire family. FML

by christinabear / 04/15/2009 at 1:14am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I took the bus home. A bum sat next to me. Reeking with alcohol and sweat, he pulls out a pair of nail clippers and clips his grimy finger nails. With every clip, the nails would fly up and hit me. As I was about to ask him to stop, a nail flies into my mouth. I swallowed it. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2009 at 8:19pm / United States (Florida) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I saw a dime on the ground. When I bent down to pick it up, my $80 dollar pants ripped. FML

by ripped / 04/11/2009 at 2:10am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML

by eun / 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends were being rude to me, so I decided to be nice to a boy that didn't have many friends. While I was talking to him he popped a pimple on his face and tasted it. FML

by lalanon / 04/03/2009 at 1:16am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend told me how I am too occupied with work for our relationship. Before we had sex I told my friend to call me in ten minutes so I can pretend its my boss and I would throw the phone away to impress her. He called me in ten minutes, but I only lasted five. FML

by Alex / 03/31/2009 at 12:41am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my parents punished me and made me wash my mouth out with soap for cursing. I'm almost 19. I said the word "hell". FML

by jdsksoapy / 03/30/2009 at 4:16pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML

by Mark / 03/30/2009 at 3:06am / United States / Love

Today, I was on a first date with a girl at the movies. Trying to be polite, I held in a fart until an intense, loud action scene came on. As soon as I let go, the scene went silent and my fart was clearly heard to everyone in the movie theatre. My date went to the bathroom. She didn't come back. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2009 at 2:50pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I texted my boyfriend to see if he wanted to finally have sex today. His response was "Can't, Platinum just came out." I didn't know what that meant so I searched "Platinum 3-22-2009" on Google. I found out he's talking about a new Pokémon game. FML

by thisreallysucks2 / 03/22/2009 at 10:15pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML

by Mason_Jayson / 03/22/2009 at 3:45pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at lunch with my grandpa and my sister. My grandpa looks over at my sister and says, "Wow. You're so beautiful." Right after, he turns to me and says, "And you have a nice coat." FML

by al0406 / 03/21/2009 at 8:34pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I stayed over at my grandparents' house. I woke up and had to brush my teeth. My grandma asked if I had found a toothbrush to use. I told her that I used my old purple toothbrush. She told me that was the toothbrush she used to brush her toenails. FML

by uofpalum / 03/18/2009 at 9:41pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Health

Today, I was nude modeling for the first time for a life art class. The only criteria for the class was that I not move at all while being observed. After a few seconds I noticed a really hot girl drawing me. I got a hard on. FML

by Opplyst11 / 03/18/2009 at 4:37pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I fell asleep in history class. I was dreaming about my history teacher. When I woke up everyone stared at me rather weirdly and the teacher wasn't there. Turns out I was moaning my history teachers name through my sleep. FML

by asleepinclass / 03/16/2009 at 1:18pm / Poland (Warszawa) / Intimacy