About fcuk : i never ever make accounts on website like this. but fmylife is just awesome.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was visiting my grandmother's house. She keeps the thermostat on 85 and after about 30 minutes I explained to her "I'm going to have to leave, it's just too hot in here". She replied: "You think it's hot in here, wait until you get to hell." I laughed. She didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53226) - you deserved it (4478)
On 04/15/2009 at 3:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was woken up to my mom playing the piano awfully. I screamed down the stairs "you suck, stop playing!" Turns out it was my 5 year old cousin playing a recital. For my entire family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12423) - you deserved it (63112)
On 04/15/2009 at 1:14am - misc - by christinabear (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I took the bus home. A bum sat next to me. Reeking with alcohol and sweat, he pulls out a pair of nail clippers and clips his grimy finger nails. With every clip, the nails would fly up and hit me. As I was about to ask him to stop, a nail flies into my mouth. I swallowed it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (101201) - you deserved it (7716)
On 04/14/2009 at 8:19pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I saw a dime on the ground. When I bent down to pick it up, my $80 dollar pants ripped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27163) - you deserved it (46640)
On 04/11/2009 at 2:10am - misc - by ripped (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57781) - you deserved it (8767)
On 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by eun (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my friends were being rude to me, so I decided to be nice to a boy that didn't have many friends. While I was talking to him he popped a pimple on his face and tasted it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (141075) - you deserved it (24555)
On 04/03/2009 at 1:16am - misc - by lalanon (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my girlfriend told me how I am too occupied with work for our relationship. Before we had sex I told my friend to call me in ten minutes so I can pretend its my boss and I would throw the phone away to impress her. He called me in ten minutes, but I only lasted five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21064) - you deserved it (76189)
On 03/31/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Alex (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my parents punished me and made me wash my mouth out with soap for cursing. I'm almost 19. I said the word "hell". FML
I agree, your life sucks (150658) - you deserved it (21681)
On 03/30/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by jdsksoapy (woman) - United States
Today, I was working out out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16701) - you deserved it (55080)
On 03/30/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Mark (man) - United States
Today, I was on a first date with a girl at the movies. Trying to be polite, I held in a fart until an intense, loud action scene came on. As soon as I let go, the scene went silent and my fart was clearly heard to everyone in the movie theatre. My date went to the bathroom. She didn't come back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23132) - you deserved it (62582)
On 03/28/2009 at 2:50pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I texted my boyfriend to see if he wanted to finally have sex today. His response was "Can't, Platinum just came out." I didn't know what that meant so I searched "Platinum 3-22-2009" on Google. I found out he's talking about a new Pokémon game. FML
I agree, your life sucks (98852) - you deserved it (15598)
On 03/22/2009 at 10:15pm - intimacy - by thisreallysucks2 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32959) - you deserved it (114351)
On 03/22/2009 at 3:45pm - misc - by Mason_Jayson - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was at lunch with my grandpa and my sister. My grandpa looks over at my sister and says, "Wow. You're so beautiful." Right after, he turns to me and says, "And you have a nice coat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52554) - you deserved it (2843)
On 03/21/2009 at 8:34pm - misc - by al0406 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I stayed over at my grandparents' house. I woke up and had to brush my teeth. My grandma asked if I had found a toothbrush to use. I told her that I used my old purple toothbrush. She told me that was the toothbrush she used to brush her toenails. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59046) - you deserved it (7383)
On 03/18/2009 at 9:41pm - health - by uofpalum (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I was nude modeling for the first time for a life art class. The only criteria for the class was that I not move at all while being observed. After a few seconds I noticed a really hot girl drawing me. I got a hard on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67113) - you deserved it (22276)
On 03/18/2009 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Opplyst11 - United States (Georgia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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