[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

fcuk

Search for a member

fcuk
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 23322
  • Number of comments : 137
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About fcuk : i never ever make accounts on website like this. but fmylife is just awesome.

fcuk's last visitors

themoodyronin

fcuk's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

fcuk's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML

#4644829 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (52706) - you deserved it (1910)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Amara1717 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML

#4606159 (284)

I agree, your life sucks (60041) - you deserved it (5808)

On 08/17/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by ZSL (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the airport to catch a plane. It was very crowded at the gate and there was nowhere to sit except for a flat metal bench, so I sat on that. Turns out I was sitting on a luggage scale, so my weight was displayed for everybody to see. FML

#3921991 (109)

I agree, your life sucks (13419) - you deserved it (30809)

On 07/21/2009 at 2:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was going to volunteer at a soup kitchen. I saw a man working, so I went up to him to ask where I should sign in. Before I even opened my mouth, he told me that they opened at 12 and to come back then for my meal. FML

#3911129 (63)

I agree, your life sucks (30029) - you deserved it (2965)

On 07/20/2009 at 6:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at the bank, I went to get some coffee from their machine. I gave it my money and pressed the buttons but nothing was happening. After banging on the machine for ten minutes and calling a teller over, a little boy reached up on his tippy toes to press the giant green START button for me. FML

#3145872 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (5991) - you deserved it (40981)

On 06/23/2009 at 1:37pm - misc - by Tygastyle (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML

#2649932 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (8743) - you deserved it (35071)

On 06/06/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by paranoid (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while watching TV, I danced, sang along, and helped Dora the Explorer get to her Grandmother's house. It was the most fun I've had all year. I'm 21. FML

#1619469 (276)

I agree, your life sucks (48961) - you deserved it (20070)

On 05/04/2009 at 5:09am - kids - by Amey (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, the fire department chief stopped me as I was walking home from school and asked me where the fire was. When I looked at him blankly, he said I had been waving my hands around like an idiot. I then had to explain that I had been dancing to a song on my ipod. FML

#1442621 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (11662) - you deserved it (33696)

On 04/28/2009 at 11:07pm - misc - by Moe (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was in a tour group going through a cave and our guide stopped, turned off the lights, and told us to be quiet so we could feel absolute silence. I farted. FML

#1224721 (195)

I agree, your life sucks (21033) - you deserved it (41759)

On 04/22/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by fartmaster (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards that doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a maxi-pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a maxi-pad on my butt. FML

#1082247 (244)

I agree, your life sucks (78232) - you deserved it (3566)

On 04/18/2009 at 10:24am - health - by Ian (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was visiting my grandmother's house. She keeps the thermostat on 85 and after about 30 minutes I explained to her "I'm going to have to leave, it's just too hot in here". She replied: "You think it's hot in here, wait until you get to hell." I laughed. She didn't. FML

#993932 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (51472) - you deserved it (4264)

On 04/15/2009 at 3:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was woken up to my mom playing the piano awfully. I screamed down the stairs "you suck, stop playing!" Turns out it was my 5 year old cousin playing a recital. For my entire family. FML

#983061 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (11433) - you deserved it (60057)

On 04/15/2009 at 1:14am - misc - by christinabear (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I took the bus home. A bum sat next to me. Reeking with alcohol and sweat, he pulls out a pair of nail clippers and clips his grimy finger nails. With every clip, the nails would fly up and hit me. As I was about to ask him to stop, a nail flies into my mouth. I swallowed it. FML

#978628 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (90219) - you deserved it (6651)

On 04/14/2009 at 8:19pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I saw a dime on the ground. When I bent down to pick it up, my $80 dollar pants ripped. FML

#910687 (182)

I agree, your life sucks (26151) - you deserved it (45014)

On 04/11/2009 at 2:10am - misc - by ripped (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML

#877965 (269)

I agree, your life sucks (52591) - you deserved it (7825)

On 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by eun (woman) - Canada (Ontario)