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Today, I told my husband to tell me his wildest fantasy. He told me it was to put on fake antlers and "do it like deer". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25711) - you deserved it (4878)
On 12/23/2012 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Kasey Eames - United States (California)
Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30920) - you deserved it (5387)
On 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by anonymaiacciu (woman) - France
Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22565) - you deserved it (5913)
On 12/21/2012 at 12:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25392) - you deserved it (6396)
On 12/17/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by Ape (woman) - United States
Today, my science class found out that I have OCD and that one of my rituals is to cough when others cough. This is going to be a long year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16881) - you deserved it (2453)
On 12/04/2012 at 11:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14665) - you deserved it (970)
On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15115) - you deserved it (2020)
On 12/03/2012 at 7:38pm - misc - by FlyingFist - United States
Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20670) - you deserved it (2246)
On 12/03/2012 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14732) - you deserved it (5461)
On 12/03/2012 at 12:06am - health - by WTFFAIL (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my girlfriend got into the Christmas cheer while giving me a hand job, smashing my nuts with her palm in time to her humming of Jingle Bells. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16057) - you deserved it (2440)
On 12/02/2012 at 6:39pm - intimacy - by fineididntwantkidsanyway (man) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, my guy friend kept complaining that no one had asked him to the dance, so he probably wasn't going to go. I suggested that we go together. He laughed until his face was bright red and said, "I don't think I'll ever get that desperate." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22956) - you deserved it (1409)
On 12/02/2012 at 3:03am - love - by Anna - United States (Washington)
Today, my guy friend kept complaining that no one had asked him to the dance, so he probably wasn't going to go. I suggested that we go together. He laughed until his face was bright red and said, "I don't think I'll ever get that desperate." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22956) - you deserved it (1409)
On 12/02/2012 at 3:03am - love - by Anna - United States (Washington)
Today, while I was removing my makeup with my boyfriend watching, he mentioned that he used to think girls were prettier without makeup on, but he'd now changed his mind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18703) - you deserved it (1812)
On 12/01/2012 at 6:54pm - love - by allbrokeup (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)
Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, because I tipped our waitress at dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20117) - you deserved it (1629)
On 12/01/2012 at 12:59am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20868) - you deserved it (2060)
On 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by childhoodupinsmoke (woman) - United States (Texas)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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