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Today, I was on a first date. She asked what I do, so I replied "I create adverts." She then yelled, "F**k you" and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15405) - you deserved it (2850)
On 04/18/2012 at 4:48am - love - by James C (man) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)
Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28736) - you deserved it (2411)
On 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by lindsaykay - United States
Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20079) - you deserved it (2646)
On 04/17/2012 at 2:13pm - intimacy - by blocked_by_fire (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was looking through my Internet browsing history. Apparently my wife had searched "How to have an affair without getting caught". FML
I agree, your life sucks (29984) - you deserved it (1914)
On 04/17/2012 at 2:11pm - love - by Jason199615 - United States (Missouri)
Today, I found out that I can get my girlfriend to make more sex noises by massaging her back than I can by actually having sex with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16695) - you deserved it (5789)
On 04/16/2012 at 9:59pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20216) - you deserved it (2559)
On 04/16/2012 at 8:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I held up my best friend with a lighter shaped like a gun, and jokingly accused him of sleeping with my wife, only to have him admit that he really did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38373) - you deserved it (3724)
On 04/16/2012 at 4:12am - intimacy - by oface13 (man) - United States
Today, my dad came to pick me up. It would have been nicer if he'd had his clothes on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16546) - you deserved it (1097)
On 04/16/2012 at 12:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14238) - you deserved it (24853)
On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada
Today, I had to get stitches on my foot and was then forced to wear a plastic bag on my foot while showering. The plastic bag made me slip in the shower and had to go back and get stitches in my forehead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (162) - you deserved it (1755)
On 04/15/2012 at 7:39pm - health - by Shone - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29111) - you deserved it (1790)
On 04/15/2012 at 2:43pm - intimacy - by jonasister (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)
Today, after years of waiting, I finally got to meet the band whose music got me through one of the hardest times I have ever experienced. When I turned down the lead singer for sex, they told me to leave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24359) - you deserved it (8755)
On 04/15/2012 at 3:03am - intimacy - by bummed - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I tried to be kind to animals and get my dad to buy cage-free eggs. When I told him it was dollar more, he started yelling and making a scene in the middle of the store, saying that chickens are ugly and they deserve to suffer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18919) - you deserved it (4253)
On 04/14/2012 at 11:46pm - misc - by ilovechickens - United States
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (9720) - you deserved it (40036) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France
Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7431) - you deserved it (27816)
On 04/11/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by potassiumgirl - United States (Florida)
Monday 17 June 2013
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