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fbhorn

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fbhorn
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1309
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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fbhorn's favorite FMLs

Today, while putting on a load of laundry, I squeezed the detergent bottle and it made a noise like a woman's orgasm. After laughing, I realised that I'm probably too immature to be washing my own clothes. FML

#19521311
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8181) - you deserved it (21095)

On 04/24/2012 at 10:03am - intimacy - by mmmtortilla (woman) - Spain (Pais Vasco)

Today, I blurted out something like "humdidumdum erm lalala" in public, attracting mystified stares. The thing is, I do this every time I remember something embarrassing I've said or done in the past, in an attempt to erase it out of my consciousness. So it happens a lot. FML

#19499543
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14855) - you deserved it (8736)

On 04/20/2012 at 3:34am - misc - by Ashamed (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I somehow managed to hit my head on a first aid kit. I now have a cut on my forehead and my boyfriend just keeps laughing from the irony. FML

#19490563
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15323) - you deserved it (3140)

On 04/18/2012 at 4:18pm - health - by 352 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend and I have more in common than I thought. We both are sexually attracted to men. FML

Today, I was on a first date. She asked what I do, so I replied "I create adverts." She then yelled, "F**k you" and left. FML

#19488696
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18398) - you deserved it (3689)

On 04/18/2012 at 4:48am - love - by James C (man) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

#19486028
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35863) - you deserved it (3391)

On 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by lindsaykay - United States

Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML

#19484170
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23210) - you deserved it (3416)

On 04/17/2012 at 2:13pm - intimacy - by blocked_by_fire (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was looking through my Internet browsing history. Apparently my wife had searched "How to have an affair without getting caught". FML

#19484156
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32202) - you deserved it (2034)

On 04/17/2012 at 2:11pm - love - by Jason199615 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that I can get my girlfriend to make more sex noises by massaging her back than I can by actually having sex with her. FML

#19480957
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20711) - you deserved it (6364)

On 04/16/2012 at 9:59pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML

#19477663
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21722) - you deserved it (2683)

On 04/16/2012 at 8:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I held up my best friend with a lighter shaped like a gun, and jokingly accused him of sleeping with my wife, only to have him admit that he really did. FML

#19477249
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44611) - you deserved it (4945)

On 04/16/2012 at 4:12am - intimacy - by oface13 (man) - United States

Today, my dad came to pick me up. It would have been nicer if he'd had his clothes on. FML

#19476340
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20356) - you deserved it (1532)

On 04/16/2012 at 12:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

#19475030
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14687) - you deserved it (25577)

On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada

Today, I had to get stitches on my foot and was then forced to wear a plastic bag on my foot while showering. The plastic bag made me slip in the shower and had to go back and get stitches in my forehead. FML

#19474483
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24084) - you deserved it (3108)

On 04/15/2012 at 7:39pm - health - by Shone - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML

#19472995
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30037) - you deserved it (1826)

On 04/15/2012 at 2:43pm - intimacy - by jonasister (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)



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Thursday 10 April 2014

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