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fbhorn's favorite FMLs
by caitlinz5 / 04/18/2012 at 12:55pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by James C / 04/18/2012 at 4:48am / United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent) / Love
by lindsaykay / 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML
by blocked_by_fire / 04/17/2012 at 2:13pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by Jason199615 / 04/17/2012 at 2:11pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
by anonymous / 04/16/2012 at 9:59pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/16/2012 at 8:38am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by oface13 / 04/16/2012 at 4:12am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/16/2012 at 12:03am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML
by lifeonfire12 / 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm / Canada / Intimacy
Today, I had to get stitches on my foot and was then forced to wear a plastic bag on my foot while showering. The plastic bag made me slip in the shower and had to go back and get stitches in my forehead. FML
by Shone / 04/15/2012 at 7:39pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML
by jonasister / 04/15/2012 at 2:43pm / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Intimacy
Today, after years of waiting, I finally got to meet the band whose music got me through one of the hardest times I have ever experienced. When I turned down the lead singer for sex, they told me to leave. FML
by bummed / 04/15/2012 at 3:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, I tried to be kind to animals and get my dad to buy cage-free eggs. When I told him it was dollar more, he started yelling and making a scene in the middle of the store, saying that chickens are ugly and they deserve to suffer. FML
by ilovechickens / 04/14/2012 at 11:46pm / United States / Animals
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous
- Today, my friend called me to see if we could play with an oijia board next week when we hang out.… Today, I found out the man I've been dating, who told me he loved me, who talked about marriage and… Today, I received yet another message from my 54 year old neighbor talking about wanting to having…
- Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one… Today, I’m a French teacher in Ukraine, and in class we were debating gun legislation. In order to…