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fbhorn's favorite FMLs
Today, the mailman delivered my new phone to my neighbour's house. This was okay, because he left a note in my mailbox informing me so. Now my crazy neighbour won't give me the package because, "*I* signed for it!" FML
by Byebye / 05/24/2012 at 3:30pm / Netherlands (Groningen) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was eating lunch, and accidentally got ketchup on the sofa, so I hastily doused it with stain remover. The ketchup is now no longer there; however there is a larger stain in its place. I stained the sofa with stain remover. FML
by Anonymous / 05/24/2012 at 3:23pm / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Miscellaneous
by Rebecca / 05/21/2012 at 10:11am / United States (Texas) / Work
by morethanredhands / 05/21/2012 at 1:56am / Intimacy
by msassy / 05/18/2012 at 10:46pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML
by iris / 05/18/2012 at 7:01pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Intimacy
Today, I went to the water park with my boyfriend. A swimsuit was required to go on the rides. My bikini straps somehow got torn off and I had nothing else with me. My boyfriend said, "Hell, just wear my spare shorts. You could pass as a guy with your chest". FML
by Anonymous / 05/18/2012 at 3:19pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by ohyesIfeelspecial / 05/18/2012 at 12:05pm / United States (Oregon) / Love
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
by smart move there / 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm / Ireland (Kildare) / Intimacy
by quick blow / 05/15/2012 at 10:53pm / United States / Intimacy
by picklet / 05/12/2012 at 10:36am / Malaysia (Negeri Sembilan) / Work
Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML
by Class / 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
by 504-A1 / 05/11/2012 at 6:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by polimeros / 05/09/2012 at 6:19pm / Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga) / Intimacy
by ShadowJack / 04/29/2012 at 11:10am / United States / Intimacy
- Today, one of my most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his… Today, I was giving my friend sex advice when she asked me when was the last time for me. Not only… Today, it was my wedding. Every good wedding has slutty wedding sex, and I thought it would be over…