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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I received an email from my girlfriend listing 10 ways to stop premature ejaculation. Subtle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14910) - you deserved it (4719)
On 05/15/2012 at 10:53pm - intimacy - by quick blow (man) - United States
Today, I started the job of my dreams. Our first marketing meeting was an in-depth analysis of the phrase, "Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate". I have a 5 year contract. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14885) - you deserved it (3461)
On 05/12/2012 at 10:36am - work - by picklet (woman) - Malaysia (Negeri Sembilan)
Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20259) - you deserved it (2665)
On 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Class (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21163) - you deserved it (6595)
On 05/11/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by 504-A1 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7943) - you deserved it (24037)
On 05/09/2012 at 6:19pm - intimacy - by polimeros (man) - Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga)
Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26644) - you deserved it (6230)
On 04/29/2012 at 11:10am - intimacy - by ShadowJack - United States
Today, my boyfriend figured out that he can bounce small things off of my boobs, and has been doing it every time I look away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15916) - you deserved it (2686)
On 04/28/2012 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Elise - United States
Today, my wife woke me up by giving my erect penis a Chinese burn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19977) - you deserved it (2119)
On 04/28/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by poo4brains - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, I found out that my fellow marching band mates all refer to me as the "short girl with big tits" because none of them can remember my name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18175) - you deserved it (2897)
On 04/27/2012 at 8:04am - misc - by noname (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was worried about my brother because he said that his new medication was making him hallucinate. I told him he should see a doctor right away. He said it was fine and that he had already seen a doctor. I later found out the doctor he was talking about was a hallucination. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17501) - you deserved it (1467)
On 04/27/2012 at 4:22am - health - by PickedOff (woman) - United States
Today, I brought several bags of soda cans to the store to cash in. I hadn't shaved, and my coat had fur all over from my cat rubbing on it. The lady in front of me turned around, looked at my bags and me and said, "It's a lot of money people throw away, isn't it?" Apparently, I look homeless. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7510) - you deserved it (12251)
On 04/26/2012 at 8:04pm - misc - by AndyAnonymous (man) - United States
Today, I decided not to wear any makeup. I got told 13 times at work that I looked ill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17929) - you deserved it (4297)
On 04/26/2012 at 3:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, I walked into a public restroom to find that they had set up a free health clinic for the homeless; by that I mean that I found one bum inspecting and cleaning the infected, bloody genitals of another bum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17312) - you deserved it (1582)
On 04/26/2012 at 8:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, as I was crossing an intersection, a car ran a red light and almost hit me. This kind of thing happens a lot in my town so I'm used to almost being run-down, except this time it was a small boy on his father's lap steering. The dad was laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19701) - you deserved it (1208)
On 04/26/2012 at 7:49am - misc - by Diffy - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I discovered that my daughter refuses to eat, but not because she's anorexic. Apparently, her health class has learned about the digestive system and now she refuses to "take part in something so gross." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18016) - you deserved it (1539)
On 04/26/2012 at 12:36am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Monday 20 May 2013
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