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fbhorn

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fbhorn
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1325
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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fbhorn's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML

#19919285
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24150) - you deserved it (2747)

On 07/10/2012 at 3:33pm - misc - by I_Has_A_Fishy - United States (Texas)

Today, I was brutally dumped over webcam, by my boyfriend, who was taking a dump with the laptop on his lap. FML

#19899263
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23232) - you deserved it (2264)

On 07/06/2012 at 6:51am - love - by Toilettrash (woman) - United States

Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML

#19896420
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21458) - you deserved it (2112)

On 07/05/2012 at 6:15pm - misc - by Oh dear (woman) - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines (Saint George)

Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a diet coke?" FML

#19895683
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33452) - you deserved it (8600)

On 07/05/2012 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. In an ambulance. On the way to the hospital after being T-boned at an intersection. FML

#19873048
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29687) - you deserved it (1161)

On 06/30/2012 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I discovered my cat's favorite hobby: sitting butthole-first on my favorite makeup brush. FML

#19870178
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17648) - you deserved it (2145)

On 06/30/2012 at 4:10am - misc - by audreyav - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was fired for using violence and intimidation in the work place. I was a bouncer at a strip club. FML

#19869373
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19550) - you deserved it (2717)

On 06/30/2012 at 1:08am - work - by John - United States (New York)

Today, I saw my girlfriend walking hand-in-hand down the street with another man. When I confronted her, she claimed she had no idea who I was, and the guy told me to beat it. Later on, she returned to our apartment and actually tried to act as if nothing had happened. FML

#19868224
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40331) - you deserved it (2304)

On 06/29/2012 at 9:06pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was babysitting a four-year-old girl, when I came across a toy that sang the Macarena. For fun, I decided to teach her the dance. When she showed her parents, instead of putting her hands on her backside and turning, she decided to bend over and moon them. FML

#19856741
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19754) - you deserved it (2477)

On 06/27/2012 at 4:48pm - kids - by fired (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while cashiering at the drug store, I saw my ex-boyfriend, who I'm still completely in love with. Being the only cashier, I had to ring him up. He was buying condoms. FML

#19853920
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32820) - you deserved it (2790)

On 06/27/2012 at 1:05am - love - by tammy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered my children had found my vibrator and buried it in the cat's litter box. FML

#19850668
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17593) - you deserved it (8323)

On 06/26/2012 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Heather (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I shaved my legs. I received endless compliments about how great they looked, and how jealous all the girls were. I'm a guy who shaved them for a themed party, for which I dressed up as a girl. FML

Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him everyday now. FML

#19848904
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7167) - you deserved it (23189)

On 06/26/2012 at 2:18am - work - by cmck932012 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML

#19846265
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24101) - you deserved it (14967)

On 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my boss grabbed my arm, raised it above my head, closed my other hand into a fist, and pushed it into his armpit. After staring at me for several seconds, he winked and left without saying a word. This isn't the weirdest thing he's done, and I'm actually starting to fear for my safety. FML

#19846175
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25057) - you deserved it (2006)

On 06/25/2012 at 5:49pm - work - by thinkimquitting (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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