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fbhorn's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 07/05/2012 at 3:10pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by audreyav / 06/30/2012 at 4:10am / United States (Oregon) / Animals
by John / 06/30/2012 at 1:08am / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I saw my girlfriend walking hand-in-hand down the street with another man. When I confronted her, she claimed she had no idea who I was, and the guy told me to beat it. Later on, she returned to our apartment and actually tried to act as if nothing had happened. FML
by Anonymous / 06/29/2012 at 9:06pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I was babysitting a four-year-old girl, when I came across a toy that sang the Macarena. For fun, I decided to teach her the dance. When she showed her parents, instead of putting her hands on her backside and turning, she decided to bend over and moon them. FML
by fired / 06/27/2012 at 4:48pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids
by tammy / 06/27/2012 at 1:05am / United States (California) / Love
by Heather / 06/26/2012 at 1:13pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, I shaved my legs. I received endless compliments about how great they looked, and how jealous all the girls were. I'm a guy who shaved them for a themed party, for which I dressed up as a girl. FML
by eviltwigster / 06/26/2012 at 12:16pm / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous
Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him everyday now. FML
by cmck932012 / 06/26/2012 at 2:18am / United States (Georgia) / Work
Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML
by Anonymous / 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy
Today, my boss grabbed my arm, raised it above my head, closed my other hand into a fist, and pushed it into his armpit. After staring at me for several seconds, he winked and left without saying a word. This isn't the weirdest thing he's done, and I'm actually starting to fear for my safety. FML
by thinkimquitting / 06/25/2012 at 5:49pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work
by Wwiimaniac / 06/25/2012 at 10:05am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by A.W / 06/24/2012 at 9:57am / United States / Miscellaneous
by blah56 / 06/23/2012 at 1:17am / United States (Kentucky) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…