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fbhorn's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 08/19/2012 at 1:30am / United States / Kids
by pridekills / 08/19/2012 at 12:19am / United States (Florida) / Work
by SquishFish / 08/17/2012 at 12:08am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, I went out with a friend to grab some food and we were served by this really cute and fun waiter. Stepping out of my comfort zone and deciding to do something crazy, I left my phone number on the bill. I got home only to realize that I forgot to pay the bill. FML
by Anonymous / 08/09/2012 at 7:39am / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymous / 08/07/2012 at 4:13pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love
Today, I discovered that I have been falsely accusing my sister of stealing my makeup. How do I know this? Because I found said makeup in the trunk of my boyfriend's car, next to a bag that had fishnet tights and red stilettos in it. Oh, and the stilettos are his size, in case you were wondering. FML
by SingleAgain / 08/03/2012 at 2:22am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked into my upstairs bathroom to find my mom's new boyfriend eating soup, naked on the toilet. In shock, I stepped back and fell down a flight of stairs, backwards, and hit my head on wall, leaving a dent in it. FML
by Lilragu97 / 07/26/2012 at 1:14am / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous
by Rochelle / 07/25/2012 at 2:14am / United States / Miscellaneous
by cortanaisahobot / 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Epiphany / 07/19/2012 at 5:01am / United States / Health
Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML
by oops / 07/15/2012 at 1:34am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
by checkup / 07/14/2012 at 8:50pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Intimacy
Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML
by I_Has_A_Fishy / 07/10/2012 at 3:33pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Toilettrash / 07/06/2012 at 6:51am / United States / Love
by Oh dear / 07/05/2012 at 6:15pm / Saint Vincent and the Grenadines (Saint George) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…