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I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I was watching TV with my mom, when a plumbing ad came on. A hot guy showed up on-screen and said "I'm here to snake your drain." My mom immediately piped up with, "Oh, I'd let him snake my drain any day." Thanks for that imagery, mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16082) - you deserved it (2273)
On 10/04/2012 at 7:24pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18711) - you deserved it (1271)
On 10/04/2012 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to play Twister. Her parents watched us the whole time, making sure we didn't touch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18795) - you deserved it (1799)
On 10/03/2012 at 6:03pm - misc - by its just twister (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that the landscaper my wife hired on my behalf wasn't kidding when he said he was going to trim my wife's bush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24301) - you deserved it (2006)
On 10/02/2012 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by praise the prenup (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26592) - you deserved it (1822)
On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I realized I might lose my job because some asshole customer complained about me to my district manager. His complaint? Girls can't work at video game stores. My DM agreed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23041) - you deserved it (1596)
On 10/02/2012 at 9:11am - work - by GamerTag (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24554) - you deserved it (1431)
On 10/02/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by Jake (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19964) - you deserved it (3405)
On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me and said, "Knock knock!" He refused to continue until I replied, "Come in." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18194) - you deserved it (2819)
On 09/29/2012 at 9:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I made a Facebook status asking if anyone wanted to hang out. A couple hours later, I logged back in, only find the status with no likes and only one comment. The comment said "no-one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14775) - you deserved it (4946)
On 09/29/2012 at 11:28am - misc - by Robert - United States (California)
Today, my laptop got hit by a Trojan. Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving past as I sat on a street bench. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25682) - you deserved it (1858)
On 09/28/2012 at 4:24am - intimacy - by iNearlyHurled - United States
Today, I started my new job. Less than one hour into the day, my boss told me that the reason he hired me was that I was the least attractive of everyone he interviewed, so I'd be less likely to cause a distraction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16071) - you deserved it (1120)
On 09/22/2012 at 12:17pm - work - by Annette (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15276) - you deserved it (2043)
On 09/22/2012 at 10:12am - animals - by Grauncho - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18500) - you deserved it (1984)
On 09/15/2012 at 3:36am - intimacy - by not the scalpel (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36698) - you deserved it (2910)
On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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