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fbhorn

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fbhorn
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1327
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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fbhorn's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, my boss asked me why I wasn't adhering to proper dress code. I pointed out that skinny jeans are in the dress code, to which he replied, "Only if you're skinny." FML

#20102886
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19196) - you deserved it (10801)

On 10/05/2012 at 12:40pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom decided to subtly bring up her desire for grandchildren. "You really need a girlfriend. I'm surprised you don't have a crippling case of Carpal Tunnel by now." FML

#20102423
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15860) - you deserved it (2430)

On 10/05/2012 at 1:59am - misc - by alittlepersonal (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom decided to subtly bring up her desire for grandchildren. "You really need a girlfriend. I'm surprised you don't have a crippling case of Carpal Tunnel by now." FML

#20102423
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15860) - you deserved it (2430)

On 10/05/2012 at 1:59am - misc - by alittlepersonal (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML

#20101904
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23493) - you deserved it (2207)

On 10/04/2012 at 8:28pm - love - by imafunguy (man) - United States

Today, I was watching TV with my mom, when a plumbing ad came on. A hot guy showed up on-screen and said "I'm here to snake your drain." My mom immediately piped up with, "Oh, I'd let him snake my drain any day." Thanks for that imagery, mom. FML

#20101823
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19405) - you deserved it (2573)

On 10/04/2012 at 7:24pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML

#20101402
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23676) - you deserved it (1788)

On 10/04/2012 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to play Twister. Her parents watched us the whole time, making sure we didn't touch. FML

#20100263
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19838) - you deserved it (1885)

On 10/03/2012 at 6:03pm - misc - by its just twister (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the landscaper my wife hired on my behalf wasn't kidding when he said he was going to trim my wife's bush. FML

#20098929
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28545) - you deserved it (2329)

On 10/02/2012 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by praise the prenup (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

#20098468
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31365) - you deserved it (2396)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized I might lose my job because some asshole customer complained about me to my district manager. His complaint? Girls can't work at video game stores. My DM agreed. FML

#20098150
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23640) - you deserved it (1620)

On 10/02/2012 at 9:11am - work - by GamerTag (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

#20098094
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31653) - you deserved it (2172)

On 10/02/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by Jake (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

#20094500
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27377) - you deserved it (4837)

On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me and said, "Knock knock!" He refused to continue until I replied, "Come in." FML

#20094225
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23501) - you deserved it (3873)

On 09/29/2012 at 9:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I made a Facebook status asking if anyone wanted to hang out. A couple hours later, I logged back in, only find the status with no likes and only one comment. The comment said "no-one." FML

#20093499
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18319) - you deserved it (6423)

On 09/29/2012 at 11:28am - misc - by Robert - United States (California)

Today, my laptop got hit by a Trojan. Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving past as I sat on a street bench. FML

#20091945
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30067) - you deserved it (2172)

On 09/28/2012 at 4:24am - intimacy - by iNearlyHurled - United States



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