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fbhorn

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fbhorn

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1762
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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fbhorn's page activity

Visits<b>thatkidhesh</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 4:42pm<b>Catkam623</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 2:08pm<b>Vanessa_Leeann26</b> - the 03/29/2013 at 6:42pm<b>ImAFaker</b> - the 03/15/2013 at 1:32am<b>Ergayles</b> - the 02/27/2013 at 11:55pm<b>FMLJFL</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 9:08am<b>karlcolt45</b> - the 02/13/2013 at 4:47am<b>qwillis98</b> - the 02/06/2013 at 9:40pm<b>hayhay2301</b> - the 02/01/2013 at 10:16pm<b>rkmn8r</b> - the 02/01/2013 at 6:13pm<b>Love_sosa</b> - the 01/05/2013 at 9:31pm<b>aileen15</b> - the 01/02/2013 at 11:15pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 12/27/2012 at 11:10pm

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fbhorn's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

#20660939
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77184) - you deserved it (5276)

On 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by more than I wanted to know (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)

Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML

#20660456
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46832) - you deserved it (8985)

On 05/13/2013 at 8:01am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, by pure chance, I found the website where my boyfriend has been getting all the cute, "original" romantic texts he sends me, including the one that made me fall in love with him to begin with. FML

#20651954
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45000) - you deserved it (9289)

On 05/09/2013 at 12:30pm - love - by Anonymous - Saudi Arabia (Makkah)

Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML

#20649343
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49191) - you deserved it (11046)

On 05/08/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 6-year-old daughter walked into the bathroom where I was grumbling about my weight. Seeing how upset I was, she took my hand and said, "Mom, you're not fat. You just look fat." FML

#20643910
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47511) - you deserved it (6339)

On 05/05/2013 at 8:56pm - kids - by me - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad called me a "deadbeat loser" after I came back from my first day of voluntary rehab for my meth problem. He's never had a job in his life and sits on the sofa all day, smoking weed and playing video games, all on my mom's salary. FML

#20642863
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54569) - you deserved it (7854)

On 05/05/2013 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

#20640565
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67160) - you deserved it (9912)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I posted a video of a dance I choreographed on Facebook. I got a notification a few hours later telling me that my grandpa had also shared it. His caption? "My granddaughter dances like a gay baboon and this dance sucks balls. Throw grapes at her." Thanks grandpa. FML

#20604301
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47207) - you deserved it (9139)

On 04/19/2013 at 3:27am - misc - by thanks gramps - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, I found a pound of cooked bacon in the dryer. When I asked my roommate about it, he confessed; his excuse was that he wanted to dry up the grease before eating it. FML

Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML

#20599244
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49820) - you deserved it (8174)

On 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by my dumb bro - United States (Arkansas)

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML

#20598564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65697) - you deserved it (12624)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

Today, I just remembered that I changed my Gmail display name to "Rice Ball" out of privacy-paranoia a while back. I've been using this same email to apply to several professional jobs. FML

#20592754
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15645) - you deserved it (35294)

On 04/15/2013 at 1:58am - misc - by geeshock1987 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60561) - you deserved it (20232)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML

#20586362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59722) - you deserved it (10734)

On 04/12/2013 at 11:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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