Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

fbethslife

Search for a member

fbethslife
  • Town/Country : Riverside, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 11 December 1986 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 553
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About fbethslife : Of all the FMLs I've submitted, the only one that was posted was one I sent in from my boyfriend. When I wasn't logged in. FML

fbethslife's last visitors

BrianneL2312Give_Linux_A_GoEpikourosDoortje

fbethslife's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of fbethslife's badges

fbethslife's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally summed up the courage to break up with my abusively controlling girlfriend. I don't know what I was thinking, but instead of leaving as a free man, I left as an engaged one. FML

#19705817
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14935) - you deserved it (37862)

On 05/30/2012 at 6:35pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Lombardia)

Today, I got tasered by a cop. It was his second day on the job. My crime? Sneezing during a sobriety test. FML

#19576269
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26465) - you deserved it (1962)

On 05/05/2012 at 7:44am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my little sister came to me crying about how everyone calls her a bad driver. I gave her a pep talk, an encouraging hug, and told her not to listen to negativity. Five minutes later she wrecked my car. FML

#19575852
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19911) - you deserved it (7138)

On 05/05/2012 at 2:24am - misc - by 464424 - United States (Ohio)

Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML

#19575645
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7404) - you deserved it (24782)

On 05/05/2012 at 1:01am - animals - by lexii - United States

Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML

#19539358
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37796) - you deserved it (2463)

On 04/27/2012 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by yosenfal (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML

#19539358
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37796) - you deserved it (2463)

On 04/27/2012 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by yosenfal (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I would still care for her if she was a vegetable. She informed me that if I was a potato, she would cut me into chips. And fry me. FML

#19459433
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18353) - you deserved it (6065)

On 04/13/2012 at 12:46am - love - by jesifairy - Australia

Today, while I was eating lunch at work, I practically had a panic attack because I'd forgotten to feed my Neopet. FML

#19168741
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7840) - you deserved it (29491)

On 02/26/2012 at 4:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally broke down and told my mom that I'd relapsed with my eating disorder. She told me to quit whining and eat a burger because she didn't want to pay for another therapy session. FML

#19142645
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23553) - you deserved it (9794)

On 02/22/2012 at 10:49pm - health - by SmallTownCutie -

Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "the Fuckinator." FML

#19136346
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32397) - you deserved it (4807)

On 02/22/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

#19131405
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36528) - you deserved it (5418)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I accidentally dropped a sculpture at college, and it broke. Some weirdo wearing a pink cape and a fake moustache bitched me out and told me not to be such an attention-seeking drama queen. FML

#19026244
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21004) - you deserved it (2747)

On 02/08/2012 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was attacked by a bird at 3 in the morning. The bird was being attacked by an owl, and decided the safest place to land wasn't in a tree, but my face. No-one will believe me, despite the 12 stitches across my face. FML

#19026198
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21521) - you deserved it (1723)

On 02/08/2012 at 12:45pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I caught my boyfriend trying on my bra. He still has no excuse. FML

#19023542
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22375) - you deserved it (3421)

On 02/08/2012 at 12:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, while I was going to the bathroom, my engagement ring fell off into the toilet, which then automatically flushed. FML

#19017910
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27224) - you deserved it (3251)

On 02/07/2012 at 12:49pm - misc - by joy - United States



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: