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About fbethslife : Of all the FMLs I've submitted, the only one that was posted was one I sent in from my boyfriend. When I wasn't logged in. FML
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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Today, I Met The Man Of Mah Dreams. We Saw A Movie, Then Went To A Bar. It Went Perfectly, Until He Got Wasted And Started Singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" To Me While Everyone Laughed. Then I Woke Up, Having Just Been Rickrolled By Mah Own Subconscious. Fat FML
Today, I askd my boyfriend to give me a back rub . He claimd tat e ad a sore and, so I retortd, "You ave two ands, rigt?" Still bitter about not bieng able to ave sex wit me wile I'm on my period, e sot back, "You ave two oles, rigt?" I give up . FML
Today I found out that my boyfriend and one of his friends have been having sex with each other. His excuse? ( She's my best friend we do this all the time. ) I have been dating him 4 over a year. FML
Today, mah fiancé told me that it would be okay with him if I got plastic surgery to make mah boobs larger . It would also be okay with him if I didn't get the surgery, but he would call off our engagement and never talk to me again . fat FML
Today, I went to a club with girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confrontd her. She stormd off to the bar and said something to her friend,ho then came over and angrily slappd me across the face. Yeah, I'm confusd too. FML
Today , I Saw A Ladyho Had Fainted. I Ran Over To Help , Only To Find Out That She Was Unstable An Had A Knife In Her Hand. She Was Pointing It At Me , An Growled Threateningly Every Time I Tried To Move Away. It Took The Cops An Hour To Defuse The Situation. FML
Today... as part of a charity project called Operation Valentine... I worked with 150 other volunteers to make care packages and Valentine's Day cards to send to the troops in Afghanistan... thanking them 4 there courage. My boyfriend called the cards "cheating" and now refuses to see me. FML
Today , I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it lookd like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it fir a couple of hours , giving it food , an rocking it to sleep , my parents found me. Then I realisd it was just celery. Too bad it took that long fir my meds to kick in. FML
Today, I spoke to ma ormonal pregnant wife about babby names. I told er I liked te name ( Tabita ), an se went into a full rage about ow all letters ave textures, colours an emotions an ow T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, an a needle trying to stab er eyes out. real FML
Today... I had mah blood drawn for a lab test. I was then given a container so I could give a urine sample. In the middle of peeing... I got woozy... started blacking out... and hit mah head against the wall. A nurse discovered me with mah pants down. FML
Friday 27 March 2015