fatnesspig

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fatnesspig

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3771
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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fatnesspig's page activity

Visits<b>eski2015</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 10:48pm<b>SixthSinEnvy</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 2:50am<b>BWAHA</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 4:17pm<b>ea247</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 6:59pm<b>hotrodman</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 10:34pm<b>bella519</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 5:39pm<b>euphoriagorillaz</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 12:15pm<b>cookeh</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 12:05pm<b>cryssycakesx3</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 2:21am<b>Catkam623</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 7:44pm<b>sarao01</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 7:28pm<b>Kilgore90</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 2:32pm<b>dbaliki918</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 11:01pm<b>BaconCrisp</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 5:09pm<b>ewang_</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 9:34am<b>slkgtr</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 3:09am<b>jehdj</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 2:44am<b>ColaNation</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 11:38pm

fatnesspig's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of fatnesspig's badges

fatnesspig's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that when your mom threatens to embarrass you by singing in public, the wrong response is, "Yeah? I dare you." FML

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2013 at 2:10pm / United States / Love

Today, I walked in on my daughter shaving the testicles of her boyfriend, who had apparently snuck in through her window. FML

by disappointed / 09/20/2013 at 12:30pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2013 at 11:45am / United States (Delaware) / Work

Today, I was going to fight the guy who my girlfriend left me for. While waiting at the park, he sent me a video of the two of them having sex on my bed. FML

by SimG / 07/07/2013 at 8:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I discovered that when my husband agreed to donate sperm so an infertile friend and his wife could have children, there was nothing "artificial" about the insemination. FML

by OnPlanetVenus / 07/04/2013 at 12:41am / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy

Today, I returned home from an extended vacation only to find out my cousin wasn't kidding when he said he was going to steal my boyfriend. I thought I was dating a straight guy. FML

by Anonymous / 07/03/2013 at 4:56pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, while walking around town, some guy grabbed me from behind, clutched at my nipples, and said, "That's where I always imagined they were." FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2013 at 1:16pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML

by naughtymommy0317 / 06/20/2013 at 4:47am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I caught my 16-year-old daughter and her boyfriend trying to use a latex glove as a condom. FML

by whatno / 06/19/2013 at 7:40pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

by young grandpa / 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML

by Sovekipisse / 06/15/2013 at 6:24pm / France (Pays de la Loire) / Love

Today, at a family reunion, my visibly drunk grandparents heard about my new boyfriend, who is a cop. My gran asked if he ever made me feel like Rodney King in the bedroom. Then my grandpa, fresh off a DUI, asked if my boyfriend's dick is as bent as the police force. FML

by Anonymous / 06/15/2013 at 1:22pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was lost in a foreign city so I asked a girl for directions. She replied, "Directions? ONE DIRECTION!" and started screaming in my face and jumping around. FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2013 at 5:17am / United States / Kids