fatherpunk

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fatherpunk

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 19 December 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3636
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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fatherpunk's page activity

Visits<b>stripedshirts</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 12:04am<b>xraye</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 2:42am<b>supertacowaffle</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 8:34am<b>epicx22</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 2:16pm<b>idontknowleo</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 10:12pm<b>flyingl3ap</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 11:41pm<b>xninix</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 2:19pm<b>sevazilla</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 10:40pm<b>facelick</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 6:50pm<b>SpeedToast</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 9:07am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 9:58am<b>Candycake</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 5:16pm<b>xCensored</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 11:46pm<b>paige146622</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 10:12pm<b>lennelleong</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 10:03pm<b>quincy2112</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 10:15am<b>ElineVisjes</b> - the 05/25/2013 at 1:17pm<b>aa1717</b> - the 02/28/2013 at 11:57pm

fatherpunk's FML badges

Beginner

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fatherpunk's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

by Pumpkin / 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I was babysitting a little girl down the street. She pulled out her 'memory box', which contained many childhood treasures. After pulling out a variety of dresses and baby pictures, she says, "... and here's my belly button!" and plops an umbilical chord in my hands. FML

by heresmybellybotton / 07/17/2009 at 8:12pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML

by takinabreak / 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me I spread my legs to help out then he looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML

by BarbieKen / 06/14/2009 at 12:14am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML

by dearme / 06/01/2009 at 9:53pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, I had sex with a new guy. After we were done, he noticed my lighter on my nightstand and said "I've always wanted to try that!" He put the lighter by his butt and fart into it, producing a flame. After, when he left, I sat there, naked, mortified. FML

by FMLFMLFMLFML / 05/29/2009 at 1:52pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

by a / 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, my 6 year old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop 'pretending to be daddy' against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML

by Jessica / 05/14/2009 at 8:03pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML

by hjgjh / 04/27/2009 at 2:14am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML

by nomorebeard / 03/25/2009 at 10:13am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

by KAAALIS / 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML

by PicturePerfect / 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous