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Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61708) - you deserved it (9231)
On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my date arrived far earlier than expected to pick me up. Apparently my mother decided to show him to my room anyway. When the door swung open, I happened to be butt naked in front of the mirror, trying to pick out an ingrown hair on my bum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33366) - you deserved it (3876)
On 11/13/2009 at 7:17am - misc - by stubblebutt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I confronted my boyfriend, suspecting that he has been cheating on me during the past few months. He vehemently denied it. Then told me it would never happen again. What? FML
I agree, your life sucks (30600) - you deserved it (1972)
On 10/29/2009 at 12:09am - love - by clueless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to lie to my dentist about how often I brush my teeth. I honestly don't remember the last time I did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4707) - you deserved it (80316)
On 10/28/2009 at 10:54pm - health - by mintyfresh (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend's best friend was dumped, and was absolutely depressed. My girlfriend thought she'd show her sympathy by breaking up with me so they "could be single together." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38299) - you deserved it (1669)
On 10/27/2009 at 7:13pm - love - by dumped (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend of five years gave me the silent treatment, refusing to talk to me or do anything more than glare at me during the entire three hour drive we took this morning. Why? Because I slept with his best friend. In his dream last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52373) - you deserved it (5136)
On 10/27/2009 at 9:27am - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my boyfriend of five years gave me the silent treatment, refusing to talk to me or do anything more than glare at me during the entire three hour drive we took this morning. Why? Because I slept with his best friend. In his dream last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52373) - you deserved it (5136)
On 10/27/2009 at 9:27am - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend over webcam with a cute negligee. He was doing homework. Half an hour later, he finally noticed. Apparently pre-calc is more interesting than his girlfriend. I guess polynomials are just curvier than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12625) - you deserved it (25847)
On 10/07/2009 at 12:39am - love - by NotAParabola (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I visited home. My drunk mother was screaming to my drunk stepdad about a fight four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "Orgasm face." And the neighbors were dancing outside coked out and naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61194) - you deserved it (3343)
On 09/19/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went on a blind date with a guy who talked about himself in the 3rd person. Seriously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40385) - you deserved it (5367)
On 09/13/2009 at 12:15am - love - by blind_date (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told eveyone that her mommy got a new penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32078) - you deserved it (2867)
On 07/30/2009 at 9:56am - kids - by Rae (woman) - United States - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, I worked in a clinic as a intern. A nurse was called to dry a woman's hair. I followed her, trying to be a good intern. After the nurse was done, the 72 year old woman took off her bathrobe. While looking at me she sat down, her legs wide open. And, yes, she knew she was naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29227) - you deserved it (2163)
On 07/30/2009 at 9:33am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50865) - you deserved it (21110)
On 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by Ella (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had a fight with my little sister. Later she apologized and made me dinner to make up for it. I thought it was pretty good until I found out that instead of using Parmesan cheese in the recipe, she used foot shavings from her Ped Egg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53169) - you deserved it (5647)
On 07/22/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by vomitingnow (man) - United States
Today, I met with an important client to talk about his stake in the company. The guy was at least 80 years old. After taking care of business we spoke about my final year at the company. As he got up to leave he said "Good luck in your final year". Without thinking, I replied "You too". FML
I agree, your life sucks (27177) - you deserved it (10679)
On 07/20/2009 at 3:13am - work - by moutz (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Monday 20 May 2013
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