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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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fatherpunk

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fatherpunk
  • Town/Country : lolwut, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 19 December 1995 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 1536
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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fatherpunk's favorite FMLs

Today, I stepped in a turd. Not a dog turd, my grandmother's turd. FML

#16900217 (184)

I agree, your life sucks (36032) - you deserved it (3081)

On 06/28/2011 at 4:40pm - animals - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, I surprised my girlfriend with roses. She surprised me by getting back together with her ex. FML

#16886494 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (31661) - you deserved it (2150)

On 06/27/2011 at 7:45pm - love - by fmylovelife - United States

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

#16879378 (374)

I agree, your life sucks (48723) - you deserved it (5317)

On 06/27/2011 at 9:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

#16860650 (268)

I agree, your life sucks (13521) - you deserved it (4593)

On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to dig up my twin boys birth certificates for baseball registration. Turns out I had been calling both of them by the other twin's name for eight and a half years. FML

#16847763 (435)

I agree, your life sucks (12775) - you deserved it (43414)

On 06/25/2011 at 9:39am - kids - by beekeke45 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

#13351667 (440)

I agree, your life sucks (34952) - you deserved it (10173)

On 10/07/2010 at 2:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realized that I will never be able to buy the car I've wanted since middle school. The car? A greyish-silver Volvo, which is the make and color of car Kurt Cobain drove. The reason? I've been informed that it's also the make and color of the car that Edward Cullen drives in Twilight. FML

#7264134 (369)

I agree, your life sucks (24053) - you deserved it (6759)

On 01/10/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by coinoperatedgirl (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

#6712384 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (9421) - you deserved it (24052)

On 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my grandpa was wearing flip flops and white socks. He entered my restroom, and the moment he did it, I realized there was no toilet paper left. I felt too ashamed to interrupt his dump, so I waited for him to ask for paper, he never did and came out without socks. FML

#6695644 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (20750) - you deserved it (3335)

On 12/10/2009 at 4:03pm - misc - by dayum (man) - Mexico (Chihuahua)

Today, I woke up and found that someone had taken a dump on my car. They'd apparently felt bad about it, as they'd then keyed "sorry" into the door. FML

#6631628 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (31188) - you deserved it (1347)

On 12/06/2009 at 8:24am - misc - by flying_vegan - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML

#6494130 (315)

I agree, your life sucks (49766) - you deserved it (4754)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:32pm - love - by IB6UB9 - United States

Today, I got out of the wrong side of the bed. Into a wall. FML

#6475314 (94)

I agree, your life sucks (8712) - you deserved it (17688)

On 11/27/2009 at 5:11am - misc - by Nick (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My first reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look like I was cleaning it. My neighbor came over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML

#6472262 (431)

I agree, your life sucks (4362) - you deserved it (55693)

On 11/27/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by obsessed (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I found out that the plant in my kitchen that I have been watering for almost 2 years is fake. FML

#6453438 (62)

I agree, your life sucks (6497) - you deserved it (34030)

On 11/25/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by IlikeGreenPlants (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while at work, I was picking up paper in the bathroom. In one stall I saw what I thought was a wadded piece of the brown paper to dry your hands. It wasn't until I realized it was sticking to my bare hand that I realized it was feces. Human feces. FML

#6439619 (79)

I agree, your life sucks (18497) - you deserved it (9517)

On 11/24/2009 at 8:00pm - misc - by Oddity_C - United States (Florida)