i am not good at describing myself
Today, my boyfriend came over to celebrate our anniversary. He had a card written in crayon with my name spelled wrong, and a basket I had seen his mother throw in the trash filled with flower petals ripped from my mom's garden. Our anniversary was 3 days ago. FML
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On 11/16/2009 at 1:12pm - love - by TLT (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at a party where I ate bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8951) - you totally deserved it (15984)
On 11/14/2009 at 8:37am - misc - by swedishdude (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)
Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML
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On 11/12/2009 at 7:05pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that I'm 8 weeks pregnant. Tomorrow, I'm supposed to be leaving for Paris with my college abstinence group for a year. FML
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On 11/10/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I nearly sliced my nipple off while shaving my chest and had to go to the ER. Turns out it was a teaching hospital so I got to explain in front of two doctors and eight med students how, even though I'm a woman, my nipples are so hairy I have to shave them. FML
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On 11/05/2009 at 9:22am - health - by HairyBoobs (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was driving to work. I saw a cute boy in the car next to me. To try and look cool, I pretended I was talking on my cell phone. I got pulled over and got a ticket for using my cell phone while driving. FML
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On 10/29/2009 at 5:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because he has anger issues. Tonight, my tires were slashed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26363) - you totally deserved it (3766)
On 10/19/2009 at 11:54am - love - by kierstin (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I noticed that my clothes had shrunk. My mother seemed to be having trouble with the new washer and dryer so I tried to show her exactly how they work. After my explanation she said "I know how they work. I shrank your clothes to give you some incentive to lose all that belly you got." FML
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On 10/14/2009 at 10:36am - misc - by thelandofoz - United States (Florida)
Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31613) - you totally deserved it (14943)
On 10/11/2009 at 11:42am - misc - by poop (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)
Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done I went to zip up when I realized I never unzipped. FML
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On 10/10/2009 at 4:45pm - misc - by loser - France (Nord-Pas-de-Calais)
Today while cleaning up I dropped a box of thumbtacks, spilling them all over the floor. As I fumbled to pick them up, the power went out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29850) - you totally deserved it (1851) - moderated and selected by Kevin Nealon
On 10/01/2009 at 6:31pm - misc - by Ouchies (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at a baseball game. I was eating my nachos when all of the sudden I woke up in the hospital, with my dad sitting next to the bed. Apparently, I was hit with a foul ball. He kept the ball for himself. FML
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On 09/26/2009 at 8:40pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was sitting on a park bench with my very elderly grandfather while listening to music at a low volume. Suddenly, he turned to me and said very loudly, " I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD AIDS!" I received strange looks from everyone that day because he mistook my ear buds for a hearing aid. FML
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On 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm - health - by Missy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I fell asleep in my last period class. When I woke up my teacher said "you missed your bus". I grabbed all my stuff and ran out the room. My class mates were standing outside the class laughing. We still had an hour left in class. FML
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On 09/09/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by Victor (man) - United States
Today, I washed one of my roommates t-shirts. I forgot to remove it before putting it in the dryer, and all the print on the front melted off. It was a gift from his girlfriend. Who has just passed away. FML
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On 09/08/2009 at 10:41pm - misc - by whyme27 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
