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fatgirl26

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fatgirl26
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3580
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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fatgirl26's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

#19264126
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25997) - you deserved it (5669)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML

#19263834
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5196) - you deserved it (23361)

On 03/12/2012 at 10:55am - misc - by gengiskarn69 (man) - United States

Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML

#19263580
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32883) - you deserved it (5253)

On 03/12/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Tristansefam1367 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, on my way to work, I had to squeeze by a man sitting in a large truck parked next to my car. I was in a bit of a hurry and in my rush the collar of my shirt got caught on his grill. My shirt ripped and I flashed the guy my entire boob. FML

#19261756
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22394) - you deserved it (3652)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:28am - work - by titillating (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML

#18897176
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25239) - you deserved it (2440)

On 01/24/2012 at 6:47am - misc - by SpongeAbii2 - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML

#18896901
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14282) - you deserved it (27028)

On 01/24/2012 at 3:50am - intimacy - by elisimo - United States (New York)

Today, I switched from pads to tampons. It took me several botched attempts trying insert one before I succeeded, and now I feel like I've just raped myself. FML

#18814672
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32742) - you deserved it (11618)

On 01/15/2012 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by lolwut - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

#18744677
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42076) - you deserved it (36795)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was surprised that my husband suggested we take a shower together to save water. He also suggested we should wear our bathing suits so we don't have to see each others "privates." FML

#18744255
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49254) - you deserved it (4208)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:24am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was surprised that my husband suggested we take a shower together to save water. He also suggested we should wear our bathing suits so we don't have to see each others "privates." FML

#18744255
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49254) - you deserved it (4208)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:24am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went snowboarding for the first time. I was so scared I passed out. I was only on the kiddy hill. FML

#18741801
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17759) - you deserved it (9172)

On 01/08/2012 at 12:38am - misc - by scardeycat13 - United States (New York)

Today, I arrived home. I'd left for a business trip 5 days earlier, and trusted my husband with our young boys. As soon as I stepped in the door, I noticed my son had thinner hair than when I'd left. He then showed me an empty container of Nair. FML

#18738819
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19469) - you deserved it (2497)

On 01/07/2012 at 7:50pm - kids - by ProudMama (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my sister attacked me and stuffed a Tic Tac up my nose. I'm currently in the hospital waiting to have it removed. FML

#18738638
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27143) - you deserved it (2621)

On 01/07/2012 at 7:33pm - health - by tictacnose - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML

#18657725
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20546) - you deserved it (2398)

On 12/30/2011 at 9:43pm - misc - by axel519 (man) - United States

Today, it's the second week into my new neighbors' routine. He works nights, she works days. He likes to blast out Slayer and Napalm Death all day, she likes to drunkenly sing out of tune to Adele all night. I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. FML

#18353086
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22074) - you deserved it (1732)

On 11/26/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by Help - United States (Pennsylvania)



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