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fantita495

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fantita495
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 13 January 1995 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 1488
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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fantita495's favorite FMLs

Today, a stoplight dropped square into the bed of my pickup truck. The police think I was attempting to steal it, and my insurance won't cover the damage to my truck. There were no witnesses. FML

#18523510
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27350) - you deserved it (1792)

On 12/15/2011 at 10:16pm - misc - by metallicatime - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

#18467751
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40317) - you deserved it (4928)

On 12/09/2011 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Aly (woman) - United States

Today, I discovered that the word 'randy' means 'horny' in England. I'm going to England next semester to study abroad. My name is Randy. FML

#18444089
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40424) - you deserved it (4421)

On 12/06/2011 at 10:36am - intimacy - by ThisIsGonnaBeAwkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, we had a sprint race in gym class which I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML

#18285625
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33004) - you deserved it (7803)

On 11/18/2011 at 11:54pm - misc - by dan - Reserved

Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML

#18234448
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35207) - you deserved it (5504)

On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the cheek at school. I missed, and walked away awkwardly. Later on, a teacher stopped me and told me how bad I failed. FML

#18153608
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28483) - you deserved it (6310)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:29am - love - by fmlifer - United States (California)

Today, my 12 year-old daughter asked me where her scrotum is. FML

#18139418
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27169) - you deserved it (4925)

On 11/02/2011 at 4:18pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend confessed that he hates horror films. Our relationship was born out of our 'love' for horror films. I have endured 3 years of watching films that absolutely terrify me only to find out he doesn't like them either. FML

#18101877
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12034) - you deserved it (40747)

On 10/29/2011 at 7:32am - love - by duped (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

#18095977
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22319) - you deserved it (4417)

On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was caught skinny dipping by the police. With the arresting officer's daughter. FML

#18035123
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35480) - you deserved it (9468)

On 10/20/2011 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by skinny dipper - United States (Washington)

Today, I went out shopping. When I left the store, I saw my ex, who I'm still crazy about. He helped me carry my bags out to the car. When I leaned in to give him a hug goodbye, he stepped aside, and I fell face-first into a puddle. He walked away laughing. FML

#18015819
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28099) - you deserved it (8482)

On 10/18/2011 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

#18013165
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15587) - you deserved it (28089)

On 10/18/2011 at 2:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738
431 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30635) - you deserved it (22433)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a job interview. The only moment I impressed the interviewer was when I talked about drama. He started to talk about a play I hadn't seen, but I decided to agree on everything he was saying. Suddenly he said, "the play doesn't actually exist." I silently left the room. FML

#17912138
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7615) - you deserved it (30666)

On 10/05/2011 at 4:33pm - work - by Lyingg (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML

#17892835
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31112) - you deserved it (5142)

On 10/03/2011 at 12:26am - kids - by Ramis182 (man) - United States (Washington)



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