Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

fantita495

Online | Search for a member

fantita495

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 13 January 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2914
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

fantita495's page activity

Visits<b>baseballpanda</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 8:31am<b>diving</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 10:47am<b>Darkestsoul</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 1:05pm<b>Corgidan</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 7:31pm<b>drayloon</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 2:34pm<b>NunnelyBrittian</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 3:00pm<b>Suchadiva</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 10:39pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 6:44am<b>romanfelixlegion</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 3:28am<b>livelikely</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 11:01pm<b>IloveToLaugh143</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 8:12pm<b>LiliLatte</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 5:36pm<b>morning_sunshine</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 11:29am<b>ricardof</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 9:03am<b>niallo</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 3:05am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 1:16am<b>emily1015</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 12:52am<b>lifelikedat</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 12:17am

fantita495's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of fantita495's badges

fantita495's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend left me for another girl. My dad's reaction to the news and my tears was to say, "Aww. Gonna write a song about it, Taylor Swift?" FML

#20942725
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52584) - you deserved it (7658)

On 11/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been sleeping around. After telling my best friend, I also found out that he and a few others have known for the past month. He asked, shocked, "Dude, I thought you knew?" FML

#20933837
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43267) - you deserved it (3515)

On 10/25/2013 at 7:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out my handwriting is so bad that people think I write in Arabic. FML

#20922701
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41637) - you deserved it (9339)

On 10/16/2013 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I like. We climbed a tree to watch the sunset, and as the sun went down, I kissed him. He fell out of the tree. FML

#20920034
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48446) - you deserved it (5526)

On 10/14/2013 at 12:02pm - love - by lovehurts - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56274) - you deserved it (9183)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML

Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML

#20857818
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49595) - you deserved it (9265)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at a job interview for a position I really needed. Somehow, the interviewer and I started talking about fishing. I joked, "I'm a master baiter." Needless to say, I didn't get the job. FML

#20833743
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28418) - you deserved it (39726)

On 08/12/2013 at 1:11pm - work - by master baiter - United States (New York)

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in the Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

#20816805
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60082) - you deserved it (7627)

On 08/02/2013 at 10:08am - intimacy - by right (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML

#20774208
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52732) - you deserved it (7762)

On 07/10/2013 at 12:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65705) - you deserved it (18728)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of 4 months. FML

#20683515
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56527) - you deserved it (17962)

On 05/24/2013 at 10:00am - love - by datgirl92 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I confronted my boss to find out why I was denied a promotion that she promised to me. Her response? "You should know by now I'm a liar. Not my fault if you believe the things I say." FML

#20680205
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35775) - you deserved it (3266)

On 05/22/2013 at 5:48pm - work - by Snurkles McGee (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML

#20639737
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59033) - you deserved it (3400)

On 05/03/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands

Today, my car was stolen from the parking garage, the same one I work at as a security guard. FML

#20625733
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38566) - you deserved it (23570)

On 04/27/2013 at 6:05pm - work - by naps aren't what they used to be (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: