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Offline (the 03/06/2015 at 5:02pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 13 January 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6159
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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fantita495's page activity

Visits<b>AlphaPrince13</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 12:35am<b>MrMook</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 1:55pm<b>dom_g</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 11:28am<b>Adamjohn82</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 12:31am<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 1:55pm<b>just_killin_time</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 8:09pm<b>xKG33x</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 11:54am<b>justinccp</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 11:19pm<b>nwaugh72</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 9:42pm<b>FleibenHolden</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 8:20pm<b>IvyRizzzzoli</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 10:30pm<b>dexxx</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 8:58am<b>mrlawlor7777</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 2:55am<b>baseballpanda</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 8:31am<b>diving</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 10:47am<b>Darkestsoul</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 1:05pm<b>Corgidan</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 7:31pm<b>drayloon</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 2:34pm

fantita495's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You have thumbed 5000 comments.

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fantita495's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a club and caught a cute guy's eye from across the bar. He smiled at me, got up and came over, then said "Oh shit! You looked way hotter from back there. Damn!" and walked away. FML

by Anonymous / 11/22/2014 at 8:33pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I climbed onto my boyfriend's lap and sexily told him "It's getting hot in here," and started unbuttoning my shirt. He said "Oh," pushed me off him, and went to turn the ceiling fan on. FML

by gettinghotinhere / 10/17/2014 at 2:29pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I dropped my kid into a crowded wishing fountain instead of a coin. FML

by jake / 08/12/2014 at 6:21am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

by FML / 07/24/2014 at 11:59am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, a guy told me that I look like Angelina Jolie. Before I could thank him, he continued, "I mean like in the chest area. After the mastectomy, you know?" FML

by fleatitting fame / 07/04/2014 at 5:30pm / Norway (Oslo) / Love

Today, while working in a call center at a university, someone threatened to report me to the President of the University because "I" wouldn't accept their daughter who had a 1.5 GPA and "got accepted into Harvard". I don't even make the decisions, I just answer calls. FML

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for ages. Midway through the meal, he sighed and said, "I'll be honest, this is a horrible date. You got zero personality and I'm too lazy to do a window escape, so..." He then got up and walked out. FML

by Anonymous / 06/06/2014 at 6:44pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love

Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML

by 5p4571k / 05/25/2014 at 1:35pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, at my job as a librarian at an old library, I was shelving books. Things were great until one entire bookshelf fell over. The damage wasn't too bad. Then the rest fell down. FML

by FallCameEarly / 02/27/2014 at 1:21am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2013 at 4:37pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy

Today, my 4-year-old daughter stood up to a bully in the mall. I was the one who was getting bullied. FML

by DocShadow / 12/03/2013 at 12:33pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my parents told me they'd be willing to pay for me to get a nose job. I asked them what was wrong with my nose, and they said nothing, it's just not the kind of nose they'd prefer to feature in our Christmas photos. FML

by UglyFace / 11/30/2013 at 5:46pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, my workplace had a big employee photoshoot for an ad campaign. I was there all of 30 seconds before the photographer said, "What the fuck? Look guys, this ain't an ad for facial abortions." He then asked me and another colleague to step out of the shot. FML

by fuggers :/ / 11/24/2013 at 4:38pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Work

Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML

by smooth / 11/21/2013 at 11:10am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up from a drunken one-night-stand. The person I slept with turned out to be heavily pregnant. She tried to convince me that I am the father and that I passed out for 7 months. FML

by clodius / 11/20/2013 at 1:25pm / United Kingdom (North Lanarkshire) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.