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faerieonacid's FML badges
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faerieonacid's favorite FMLs
by Overprotected / 06/19/2013 at 10:39am / United States / Miscellaneous
by hinting / 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by idontwanttoknow / 06/16/2013 at 7:37am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/16/2013 at 2:37am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML
by Sovekipisse / 06/15/2013 at 6:24pm / France (Pays de la Loire) / Love
Today, at a family reunion, my visibly drunk grandparents heard about my new boyfriend, who is a cop. My gran asked if he ever made me feel like Rodney King in the bedroom. Then my grandpa, fresh off a DUI, asked if my boyfriend's dick is as bent as the police force. FML
by Anonymous / 06/15/2013 at 1:22pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML
by explanations / 06/14/2013 at 2:48am / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I woke up from a much needed nap realizing I should take my pain medication. My mother then told me she had thrown them out so I wouldn't get addicted and become a drug dealer. FML
by _Tatyana_ / 06/13/2013 at 3:05am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
Today, at my wedding, the minister forgot to skip the "does anyone object?" part. My mother stood up and gave a lengthy reason, which caused my future in-laws to start shouting. It turned into a small riot, and no, we're not married now. FML
by Anonymous / 06/12/2013 at 12:27pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/11/2013 at 10:12pm / United States / Kids
Today, I was giving a presentation to my college class. I've had a natural stutter my whole life, so I stuttered through the whole thing. My professor tried to hold in her laughter for 15 minutes. FML
by stutterboy / 06/11/2013 at 4:36pm / United States (California) / Work
by Rjlup / 06/11/2013 at 10:00am / United States (Colorado) / Animals
Today, my friend told me he had just robbed a bank and needed a place to hide. Thinking he was joking, I let him in so we could hang out. 15 minutes later, the cops storm into my apartment. Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke. FML
by Anonymous / 06/10/2013 at 11:23pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/09/2013 at 1:01am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 6:34am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana…
- Today, my loneliness hit an all time low when I actually considered "accidentally" texting a random… Today, I stayed out late to celebrate my last night before going back to school. Though I normally… Today, three of us were working, one guy wanted to stay for a longer shift and the other wanted to…
- Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus… Today, it’s been a week since I arrived in Cuba. Gustav came to visit us. Now it’s Hannah’s turn.… Today, I threw up when I got home because I'd been drinking with friends. My parents asked what was…