Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About fabulosogurlee : Oh hello! I didn't see you there! Im not too great at these, but if your here because I made a really bad joke, then message me, and I will send you a treasure map to go find a sense of humor. I'm sort of sarcastic and by sort of I mean all the time. I am a grammar Nazi but I don't call people out on it; I just snicker at their mistake in my head. Lots of people don't get my jokes when I write them down because they don't hear my inflections. (accidentally knocks down camera while running away sobbing)
IM SORRY WE ARE EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL ERRORS... JOIN US NEXT TIME FOR ANOTHER INSTALLMENT OF...HI THERE! (should be read in an announcer voice)
P.S. I cannot stand anyone who frequently uses the acronym Y.O.L.O.
P.P.S. If you feel like messaging me it might take a while for me to get back to you seeing as I am almost always on the app.
P.P.P.S. I really enjoy hockeyoceancity's comments ( sometimes) and really do not enjoy squeakychipmunk's comments.
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, after being a germaphobe for almost ten years and refusing to go out to restaurants because of it, I finally had the courage to face my fear, and went to dinner with my family. After three bites into my salad, I found a dead bug in it. FML
Today, I went on a field trip with some people from school. I'm currently confined to a wheelchair, so I had to rely on my sister to get around. She eventually went off with her friends, assuming that the people nearby would keep me company. Five minutes later, they'd all left me. FML
Today, while looking through the camera my boyfriend got me, I found a video of a girl giving him head. After screaming at him about it and breaking up with him, I realized the girl was a drunken me. FML
Today, while I was leaving the grocery store, I realized my ignition key was missing from my pocket. After searching the car and retracing my steps, I walked all the way home. Later, when we went to retrieve the car, the key was sitting in plain sight on the passenger seat. FML
Today, I went out to a club, hoping to score. I'd read about a trick pickup artists use called "negging" and decided to try it out. As I finished complimenting a girl for being brave enough to have not made much of an effort with her makeup, she slammed her knee between my legs. FML
Today, I moved into college and met my new roommate. Not fifteen minutes later, she had told me about the fungus on her feet, and what happens when she forgets to take her anti-psychotic medication, all while picking at her nose and eating the spoils. FML
Today, at college, we had a substitute philosophy teacher, because our professor is on bereavement leave. During his presentation, the sub managed to segue from the early works of Immanuel Kant straight into "the myth of the vaginal orgasm." I'm still shocked and highly confused. FML
Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML
Today, I found out that my six year old cousin has a raging crush on my boyfriend. She lives across the street and watches from her window for his car to appear in front of my house. She's indicated that she'll stop at nothing until he's hers. FML
Today, I went into hysterics and started crying when my boyfriend pulled out a Tiffany's box at dinner. Then I found out he'd used the old box to make the $15 earrings he bought seem more "special." FML
Friday 22 May 2015