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eyedefineme

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eyedefineme

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  • Number of visits : 2157
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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eyedefineme's page activity

Visits<b>swasher</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 1:40am<b>shokolit2</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 4:07pm<b>P_B683</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 5:02am<b>zzzaman</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 12:42am<b>MacMonster</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 10:46pm<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 06/20/2013 at 11:06pm<b>SalviBarbie</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 10:05pm<b>Serial</b> - the 12/20/2010 at 6:41pm<b>st0815</b> - the 12/09/2010 at 5:16pm<b>another_girl</b> - the 12/07/2010 at 8:40am<b>nakidna</b> - the 12/06/2010 at 8:24pm<b>atalith</b> - the 09/18/2010 at 6:31pm<b>binarycow</b> - the 09/12/2010 at 8:06am<b>nerdsgetmehot</b> - the 09/03/2010 at 3:03am

eyedefineme's FML badges

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eyedefineme's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML

#15948281
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65526) - you deserved it (7378)

On 04/27/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I actually heard my 14 year old son muse to himself, "If I can drive drunk in Grand Theft Auto, how hard could it be in real life?" FML

#15935332
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39182) - you deserved it (12205)

On 04/26/2011 at 3:20pm - kids - by nomorexbox - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to work at a chemotherapy clinic. After explaining to a patient about the risks and benefits of chemotherapy for his underlying metastatic lung cancer, he asks is it OK to smoke during chemotherapy. FML

#15739241
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29858) - you deserved it (3356)

On 04/11/2011 at 11:08am - work - by Shamdog48 - United States (New York)

Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML

#15287588
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11665) - you deserved it (37339)

On 03/12/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

#15281187
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45547) - you deserved it (7717)

On 03/12/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

#15209845
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37371) - you deserved it (3368)

On 03/05/2011 at 8:42pm - health - by nick (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found my mother in tears, so I asked her what was wrong. She told me, "It's your father, he wants a divorce..." I asked if he'd met another woman, and my mom replied "No, not a woman..." FML

#15205288
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52411) - you deserved it (4408) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/05/2011 at 6:43am - love - by Anonymous - France (Alsace)

Today, I was performing a show about pirates for a youth program. A child started crying because I wasn't a real pirate. A little girl took my defense: "He's a real pirate, his teeth are all yellow!" FML

#15203420
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27335) - you deserved it (10155)

On 03/05/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was performing a show about pirates for a youth program. A child started crying because I wasn't a real pirate. A little girl took my defense: "He's a real pirate, his teeth are all yellow!" FML

#15203420
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27335) - you deserved it (10155)

On 03/05/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while watching Animal Planet, I realised my boyfriend uses the Dog Whisperer techniques on me. FML

#15149183
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30214) - you deserved it (8701)

On 02/28/2011 at 5:55am - love - by notagoodsign (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I had to sell my phone to pay for the phone bill. FML

#15087655
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19618) - you deserved it (24480)

On 02/23/2011 at 4:18am - money - by suzyyy (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I gave a safe sex speech to teens at my local high school. This was just ten minutes after my girlfriend had texted me, telling me she's pregnant. FML

#15038922
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11451) - you deserved it (42685)

On 02/19/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was so lonely, I wound up talking for two hours to the creep who calls my number every Friday night and makes creepy obscene breathing noises on the other end of the phone. Turns out he's a better listener than my husband. FML

#15035621
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32165) - you deserved it (5220)

On 02/19/2011 at 1:17am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend said "It's funny how every time we have sex I'm wearing these panties." We've been having sex every day for the last six days. FML

#15002281
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47005) - you deserved it (6412)

On 02/16/2011 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Lovenem (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML

#14974014
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30646) - you deserved it (11413)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:51pm - kids - by Mikabe (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)



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