eyedefineme

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eyedefineme

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2884
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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eyedefineme's page activity

Visits<b>swasher</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 1:40am<b>shokolit2</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 4:07pm<b>P_B683</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 5:02am<b>zzzaman</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 12:42am<b>MacMonster</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 10:46pm<b>SalviBarbie</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 10:05pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 2:55pm<b>Serial</b> - the 12/20/2010 at 6:41pm<b>st0815</b> - the 12/09/2010 at 5:16pm<b>another_girl</b> - the 12/07/2010 at 8:40am<b>nakidna</b> - the 12/06/2010 at 8:24pm<b>atalith</b> - the 09/18/2010 at 6:31pm<b>binarycow</b> - the 09/12/2010 at 8:06am<b>nerdsgetmehot</b> - the 09/03/2010 at 3:03am

eyedefineme's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

eyedefineme's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2011 at 12:21pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I actually heard my 14 year old son muse to himself, "If I can drive drunk in Grand Theft Auto, how hard could it be in real life?" FML

by nomorexbox / 04/26/2011 at 3:20pm / United States (Georgia) / Geek

Today, I went to work at a chemotherapy clinic. After explaining to a patient about the risks and benefits of chemotherapy for his underlying metastatic lung cancer, he asks is it OK to smoke during chemotherapy. FML

by Shamdog48 / 04/11/2011 at 11:08am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2011 at 10:09pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

by Username / 03/12/2011 at 12:10am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

by nick / 03/05/2011 at 8:42pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I found my mother in tears, so I asked her what was wrong. She told me, "It's your father, he wants a divorce..." I asked if he'd met another woman, and my mom replied "No, not a woman..." FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2011 at 6:43am / France (Alsace) / Love

Today, I was performing a show about pirates for a youth program. A child started crying because I wasn't a real pirate. A little girl took my defense: "He's a real pirate, his teeth are all yellow!" FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2011 at 1:07am / Canada (Quebec) / Kids

Today, I was performing a show about pirates for a youth program. A child started crying because I wasn't a real pirate. A little girl took my defense: "He's a real pirate, his teeth are all yellow!" FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2011 at 1:07am / Canada (Quebec) / Kids

Today, while watching Animal Planet, I realised my boyfriend uses the Dog Whisperer techniques on me. FML

by notagoodsign / 02/28/2011 at 5:55am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Love

Today, I had to sell my phone to pay for the phone bill. FML

by suzyyy / 02/23/2011 at 4:18am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Money

Today, I gave a safe sex speech to teens at my local high school. This was just ten minutes after my girlfriend had texted me, telling me she's pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2011 at 9:51am / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was so lonely, I wound up talking for two hours to the creep who calls my number every Friday night and makes creepy obscene breathing noises on the other end of the phone. Turns out he's a better listener than my husband. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2011 at 1:17am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, my girlfriend said "It's funny how every time we have sex I'm wearing these panties." We've been having sex every day for the last six days. FML

by Lovenem / 02/16/2011 at 12:51pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML

by Mikabe / 02/14/2011 at 1:51pm / Sweden (Varmlands Lan) / Kids