About expl0s1ve : i play bass, guitar, and i play games, my friends call me the "the ladies man". i listen to classic metal, and sometimes screamo. My favorite band is Metallica. im also pretty chill with things, as in you can talk to me bout anything and i wont be creeped out. I care bout my friends, and they care bout meh. message me, talk bout anything, me is here :D
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expl0s1ve's favorite FMLs
Today, I sent my romantic interest a sexy text about a dream I had about a "sex gameshow." I sent it by replying to the last text sent. I'm now responsible for traumatizing my 12 year old niece who could only reply, "Like Jeopardy?" FML
by PandaMantis / 06/25/2011 at 12:32am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I've been on the same train for two hours at a standstill due to "signal problems". We can't get off because it's "unsafe". I'm on my way home from work and I can see my house through the window. FML
by bananaman / 04/11/2011 at 4:07pm / United Kingdom (London) / Transportation
by shorty / 04/11/2011 at 1:36pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, the girl I was babysitting was being disrespectful to me, so I took away her stuffed animal and told her that she couldn't have it back until she apologized. She ended up sneaking onto my laptop and deleting all the pictures I'd saved from my recent vacation to Europe. FML
by Got_any_grapes1 / 04/11/2011 at 1:23pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, I bought myself a brand-new 52" flatscreen. It was only in my house for 2 hours before my toddler had a tantrum, threw a toy right into the screen and wrecked it beyond repair. I paid to have a nice TV for 2 hours. FML
by ac32 / 04/11/2011 at 12:05pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
Today, I went on a date with a girl. We drove separately and met at the restaurant. Over the course of two hours she drank a gallon and a half of beer, then her boyfriend picked her up because she was too drunk to drive home. FML
by sandyhome / 04/11/2011 at 11:20am / United States (Arkansas) / Love
Today, I went to work at a chemotherapy clinic. After explaining to a patient about the risks and benefits of chemotherapy for his underlying metastatic lung cancer, he asks is it OK to smoke during chemotherapy. FML
by Shamdog48 / 04/11/2011 at 11:08am / United States (New York) / Work
Today, my phone wasn't working properly. After sending out 40 texts and getting no replies, I decided to test my phone by sending it a text from my old phone. The text came through straight away. Turns out my phone's working perfectly and 40 people are just ignoring me. FML
by Ignored / 04/11/2011 at 5:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 04/10/2011 at 11:26pm / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/10/2011 at 2:05am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by Z / 04/09/2011 at 6:29pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Miscellaneous
by Jill / 04/09/2011 at 6:00pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, when I picked up my repeat subscription of anti-anxiety medication, they had changed the packaging to be more 'child safe'. Now it's so hard to get the pills out that I had an anxiety attack trying to take one. FML
by VoiceMail / 04/09/2011 at 8:53am / Australia (Queensland) / Health
by Tweety / 04/09/2011 at 7:40am / United States (Washington) / Love
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, I woke up hung over and sad I had pissed away 27 years of sobriety. Then it occurred to me… Today, my parents had a family discussion about my sister's birthday plans because it was the "next… Today, I got bitched at for 6 hours on a roadtrip by my mother. I asked her not to smoke while my 4…