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exotica

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exotica
  • Town/Country : RUSSIA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1702
  • Number of comments : 105
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About exotica : Nuthin but a G thang

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exotica's favorite FMLs

Today, I went shopping with my mom. I went into my department and tried on some clothes. After a few minutes, there is an announcement that a child has gone missing. Staff are searching the store. I see my mom and she hugs me in tears and yells, "I found her!" I'm almost 17. FML

#17986846 (194)

I agree, your life sucks (11689) - you deserved it (961)

On 10/15/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by Ania (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

#17966458 (182)

I agree, your life sucks (8185) - you deserved it (27185)

On 10/12/2011 at 8:37am - kids - by John W. (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717 (213)

I agree, your life sucks (20697) - you deserved it (7796)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)

Today, I arrived in Africa to start my new job. I agreed to come to a city with little to no electricity, and poor water for triple the money I was making in Canada. I just realized my boss and I negotiated in two completely different currencies, and I'm now making half of what I used to. FML

#17364992 (174)

I agree, your life sucks (7771) - you deserved it (9964)

On 08/04/2011 at 7:45am - work - by Depressed (woman) - Sudan

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

#17109043 (441)

I agree, your life sucks (20462) - you deserved it (59905)

On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while attempting to sneak out of my boyfriend's parents' house during my walk of shame, I fell down the stairs, spilling cherry coke all over myself, their walls, and the carpet. FML

#15647820 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (8344) - you deserved it (27822)

On 04/05/2011 at 3:47am - misc - by stairmaster -

Today, I was informed that due to my cat being aggressive and attacking the postman several times, my mail would no longer be delivered to my address. I don't own a cat. FML

#15160394 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (27600) - you deserved it (1667)

On 03/01/2011 at 5:41am - animals - by notacatperson (woman) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, I felt like adding my real middle name to my facebook name to make it look more professional. It was denied because they didn't feel it was a legitimate request. Minutes later, someone with the name of "Galactic Toast" friend requested me. FML

#14048289 (152)

I agree, your life sucks (19542) - you deserved it (2357)

On 12/01/2010 at 2:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML

#13756412 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (12470) - you deserved it (39098)

On 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

#13026235 (456)

I agree, your life sucks (22861) - you deserved it (19828)

On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was cutting the grass on my riding mower. I spent a good 3 hours working on it. When I finished, I got off and went to take a look. It looked the same as when I started. I then realized that I hadn't lowered the mower part. I spent 3 hours just driving around. FML

#11986372 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (12814) - you deserved it (45227)

On 07/19/2010 at 4:48pm - misc - by Dumbfounded - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a first date, where my date managed to fall in a creek, take me to his house and measure my height, show me family pictures, and perform the Soulja Boy dance in his living room. All while wearing swim trunks because his pants were drying and he didn't have extras. FML

#10727772 (263)

I agree, your life sucks (23978) - you deserved it (5275)

On 05/24/2010 at 2:13am - love - by gedderdunn - Reserved

Today, I was eating pizza with my girlfriend. She got sauce on the corner of her mouth so I tried to be sexy and lick it off. It wasn't sauce, it was a cluster of zits. FML

#8889427 (293)

I agree, your life sucks (13842) - you deserved it (24000)

On 03/07/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by choldcreations - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300 (228)

I agree, your life sucks (26950) - you deserved it (2204)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, I heard that there's a rumour going around that I was caught masturbating while crying at a party after the girl I liked got with someone else. FML

#7946481 (66)

I agree, your life sucks (14896) - you deserved it (1973)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom (York)