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exotica

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 2965
  • Number of comments : 108
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About exotica : Nuthin but a G thang

exotica's page activity

Visits<b>clintml11</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 3:00am<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 2:38pm<b>dusthar</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 5:33pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 11:12pm<b>jengo54</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 8:21pm<b>chronicB</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 10:20am<b>AZTEC_WARRIOR</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 7:35pm<b>jet223</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 8:35am<b>Superwalkatural</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 12:30am<b>trevieh47</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 7:45pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 10:33pm<b>munuxi</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 6:53pm<b>mxgirl1998</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 11:22pm<b>evanjl4</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 4:16pm<b>sleepwalker13</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 8:58pm<b>Sexy_Time</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 11:05am<b>Mortoli</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 8:40pm<b>Dccj456</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 3:05pm

Fucked!<b>clintml11</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 9:00am

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exotica's favorite FMLs

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

by turning red / 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

by hinting / 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I learned that my mother counts my jeans as two pairs when she counts how many she's putting in for a load of wash. I've gotten that fat. FML

by Fatty Fatty Fatso / 05/04/2013 at 8:41pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was supervising some kids, who were playing on a bouncy castle. One of them managed to kick me in the face during a jump, and looking for an apology, I asked, "What do you say?" He paused, then shouted, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" FML

by xx-look-at-xx / 04/12/2013 at 8:14pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Kids

Today, I was discussing possible career choices with my relatives. Pretty much everyone expressed the belief that I'm screwed for life, with my grandma commenting later: "She ain't even got the tits for porn. God help her." FML

by flea-bitten / 04/06/2013 at 3:41pm / United States / Work

Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2012 at 1:17am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, while shopping, I saw a little girl and her mom. The girl was pouting so I tried to cheer her up by asking her if she was a princess, because she was so pretty. She smiled but her mom looked at me with disgust and told me to, "Get lost, pedo." I'm a 17-year-old girl. FML

by well okay then / 09/10/2012 at 12:39am / United States / Kids

Today, I realized my husband and I have been fighting a lot lately, so to show him how much I care, I got a tattoo with his name on it. He hates it. FML

by noname1025 / 09/04/2012 at 12:44pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I received a "get well soon" card in the mail, which I found just a little odd, since I was feeling completely fine. Not an hour later, I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs. FML

by Anonymous / 07/24/2012 at 1:36pm / United States / Health

Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML

by Scared / 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, the "My body is beautiful" t-shirt that my therapist gave me didn't fit. FML

by msassy / 05/18/2012 at 10:46pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, the school nurse called me in. She said she knew I was pregnant and she was worried about how it was affecting my grades. I'm not pregnant. Apparently I'm just stupid and fat. FML

by CharlieOrion / 05/04/2012 at 8:25am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went shopping with my mom. I went into my department and tried on some clothes. After a few minutes, there is an announcement that a child has gone missing. Staff are searching the store. I see my mom and she hugs me in tears and yells, "I found her!" I'm almost 17. FML

by Ania / 10/15/2011 at 1:13am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

by John W. / 10/12/2011 at 8:37am / United States (Colorado) / Kids