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evilegit

Offline (the 12/13/2014 at 12:39am) | Search for a member

evilegit

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 2 August 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 791
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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evilegit's page activity

Visits<b>RipeFlame</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 1:55pm<b>xx_ginny</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 6:01am<b>joarasmi</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 11:15pm<b>kandee_bc</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 10:41pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 3:06pm

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evilegit's favorite FMLs

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

#17496000
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27798) - you deserved it (3341)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came to terms with the fact that my boss owns my soul for the bare minimum wage, and has me so whipped that he probably will for the rest of eternity, or until his ancient, withered, necromantic ass dies. FML

#17367681
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11158) - you deserved it (21707)

On 08/04/2011 at 2:47pm - work - by Username - United States

Today, I have to take medicine that gives me painful, violent farts. Tomorrow, I have to either get fired or go work in an office that's dead silent. How silent? Last week I heard my coworker drop a paperclip, three desks away. FML

#17305922
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36552) - you deserved it (3144)

On 07/30/2011 at 2:58am - work - by Tootie (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by tossing the ring at me and saying "Here, wear this." FML

#17194109
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48183) - you deserved it (7820)

On 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm - love - by Username - United States

Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML

#17094831
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43023) - you deserved it (3601)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm - intimacy - by wittlegirl - United States (California)

Today, I went to the park with a girl I like. She got playful and climbed a tree, insisting I come up, too. While we were sitting and enjoying the view, she suddenly knocked me off the branch, sending me crashing to the ground. FML

#17044737
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34598) - you deserved it (5692)

On 07/09/2011 at 8:13pm - love - by wolf boy - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was accused of cheating on my wife when an earring was found in our car. I knew it was my mom's missing earring but she didn't believe me. After calling my mom and getting them on the phone to clarify, my wife is upset I told my mother at all. Now I'm not a cheater, just an asshole. FML

#16954245
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41236) - you deserved it (3517)

On 07/02/2011 at 10:15pm - love - by lostbandana - United States

Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML

#15960842
371 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29018) - you deserved it (41431)

On 04/28/2011 at 7:07am - kids - by oldmama728 -

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate and planning on having sex for the first time. I picked her up off the couch, and in so doing, accidentally lifted her too high, putting her head through the ceiling. She had a mild concussion. FML

#15921187
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37307) - you deserved it (19112)

On 04/25/2011 at 3:31pm - intimacy - by Ouch (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

#15281187
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45548) - you deserved it (7719)

On 03/12/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

#15154591
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13466) - you deserved it (34849)

On 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm - health - by stupiddrunk (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while presenting a project I've worked on for months, one of the professors exasperatedly cut in mid-sentence, saying, "Look, it's shit. Just stop already." FML

#14742599
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29340) - you deserved it (4153)

On 01/28/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Slovakia (Bratislava)

Today, my daughter was expelled from her school for beating another kindergartener with a Dr. Seuss book. FML

#14567167
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33731) - you deserved it (7090)

On 01/13/2011 at 3:48pm - kids - by me - United States

Today, my husband invited a couple of his college friends over for dinner. While we were in the middle of eating, one of them asked loudly, "Hey, whatever happened to that fat bitch you dated in your third year?" We've been dating since his second year. FML

#14545720
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34566) - you deserved it (3303)

On 01/11/2011 at 2:06pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to try and man up and act a bit tougher. He started crying. FML

#13881563
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32837) - you deserved it (17146)

On 11/17/2010 at 9:32pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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