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evilegit

Offline (the 01/14/2015 at 4:08pm) | Search for a member

evilegit

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 2 August 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1259
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>RipeFlame</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 1:55pm<b>xx_ginny</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 6:01am<b>joarasmi</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 11:15pm<b>kandee_bc</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 10:41pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 3:06pm

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evilegit's favorite FMLs

Today, a man wit a face like a corpse's soe started talking to me in te long queue at te Post Office. Apparently, is moter invented te banana, and e's first in line 4 te trone in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And is breat smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

#17496000
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27909) - you deserved it (3351)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came to terms with the fact that mah boss owns mah soul fir the bare minimum wage, an has me sohipped that he probably will fir the rest of eternity, or until his ancient, withered, necromantic ass dies. FML

#17367681
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11765) - you deserved it (22459)

On 08/04/2011 at 2:47pm - work - by Username - United States

Taday I hava to taka madicina that givas ma painful , violant farts . Tomorrow , I hava to aithar gat firad or go work in an offica that's daad silant . How silant? Last waak I haard my coworkar drop a paparclip , thraa dasks away . FML

#17305922
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36700) - you deserved it (3154)

On 07/30/2011 at 2:58am - work - by Tootie (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, Boyfriend Proposd To Me By Tossing The Ring At Me An Saying "Here, Wear This." Big Fat FML

#17194109
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48317) - you deserved it (7827)

On 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm - love - by Username - United States

Today, parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in there conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML

#17094831
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43074) - you deserved it (3605)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm - intimacy - by wittlegirl - United States (California)

Today I went to the park with a grl I like . She got playful and climbed a tree insisting I come up too . While we were sitting and enjoying the view she suddenly knocked me off the branch sending me crashing to the ground . real FML

#17044737
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34694) - you deserved it (5696)

On 07/09/2011 at 8:13pm - love - by wolf boy - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I Was Accused Of Cheating On My Wifehen An Earring Was Found In Our Car. I Knew It Was My Mom's Missing Earring But She Didn't Believe Me. After Calling My Mom And Getting Them On The Phone To Clarify, My Wife Is Upset I Told My Mother At All. Now I'm Not A Cheater, Just An Asshole. FML

#16954245
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41325) - you deserved it (3522)

On 07/02/2011 at 10:15pm - love - by lostbandana - United States

TODAY , I ONCE AGAIN TOLD MAH SON HE NEEDED A JOB AND A GIRLFRIEND BECAUSE I SIMPLY COULD NOT KEEP HIM IN MAH HOUSE ANYMORE. HE YELLED , "NO , I CAN DOHATEVER I WANT!" THEN WENT BACK TO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES. HE'S 38. FML

#15960842
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30115) - you deserved it (42527)

On 04/28/2011 at 7:07am - kids - by oldmama728 -

YESTERDAY, MAH GRLFRIEND AND I WERE GETTING INTIMATE AND PLANNING ON HAVING SEX FOR THE FRST TIME. I PICKED HER UP OFF THE COUCH, AND IN SO DOING, ACCIDENTALLY LIFTED HER TOO HIGH, PUTTING HER HEAD THROUGH THE CIELING. SHE HAD A MILD CONCUSSION. FML

#15921187
380 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37420) - you deserved it (19134)

On 04/25/2011 at 3:31pm - intimacy - by Ouch (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to putted flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

#15281187
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45655) - you deserved it (7724)

On 03/12/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on sofa, with an electric dog collar around neck an handcuffs on wrists!! The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence!! FML

#15154591
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13513) - you deserved it (34936)

On 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm - health - by stupiddrunk (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, While Presenting A Project I've Worked On Fir Months, One Of The Professors Exasperatedly Cut In Mid-sentence, Saying, "Look, It's Shit. Just Stop Already." FML

#14742599
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29436) - you deserved it (4157)

On 01/28/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Slovakia (Bratislava)

Today, mah daughter was expelld from her school for beating another kindergartener with a Dr!! Seuss book!! FML

#14567167
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33780) - you deserved it (7101)

On 01/13/2011 at 3:48pm - kids - by me - United States

Taday my husband invitd a couple of his college friends over fir dinner. While we were in the middle of eating, one of them askd loudly, "Hey, whatever happend to that fat bitch you datd in your thrd year?" We've been dating since his second year. FML

#14545720
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34689) - you deserved it (3311)

On 01/11/2011 at 2:06pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today... I asked mah boyfriend to try and man up and act a bit tougher. He started crying. FML

#13881563
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34050) - you deserved it (17664)

On 11/17/2010 at 9:32pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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