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Today, while driving, I witnessed the neighbors dog viciously shaking a black cat. So I slammed on the brakes and jumped out of the car, frantically chasing around the huge dog screaming "Help, someone please help!" I finally managed to tackle him and release the cat. It was a stuffed animal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8181) - you deserved it (20205)
On 12/08/2009 at 1:26am - animals - by damncat (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, a friend of mine and I were talking about how hygienic we are. She mentioned she hadn't shaved her downstairs in a while. I was looking at the computer when she said this so when I turned to look at her I saw she had pulled down her pants and underwear. I was face to face with hairy muff. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14038) - you deserved it (2548)
On 12/07/2009 at 4:30am - intimacy - by roxyriley - United States (Arizona)
Today, while I was in the middle of making love with my boyfriend, I mentioned bringing another lady in the picture to spice it up. He looked at me and said "let's ask your sister." He then got dressed and called her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6601) - you deserved it (19464)
On 11/16/2009 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by 3sacrowd (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25398) - you deserved it (6830)
On 11/12/2009 at 7:05pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my parents met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. They not only brought along embarrassing childhood photos of myself, they'd 'accidentally' placed an intimate photo of me and my ex-girlfriend with them. That was their subtle way of telling everyone they prefer my ex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28788) - you deserved it (2038)
On 10/11/2009 at 7:25am - love - by hateparents (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was preparing to perform with my marching band at a competition. Right before we went on, a tuba player friend of mine offered to help me stretch. He wound up snapping my bra. I'm a drum major, and had to conduct the entire show while my boobs were falling out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29963) - you deserved it (3980)
On 09/27/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by commando - United States (New York)
Today, I told my girlfriend I have only one testicle. Her reaction? "Eeew, balls are gross!" I'm glad to know I'm only half as gross as other guys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15647) - you deserved it (2138)
On 09/25/2009 at 7:13am - intimacy - by lone_ranger (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my best friend who I've had serious feelings for for over a year decided to tell everyone that he hasn't gotten laid in almost 2 years. When I told him that he was lying, he responded with "No, I'm not. Who could I possibly have slept with?" We hooked up 6 months ago. 3 times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16646) - you deserved it (375)
On 09/02/2009 at 2:33am - intimacy - by sexytime (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, whilst on a date I recieved my sixth missed call from my mother. I excused myself and went outside and called her, she and my father wanted to know why I was having dinner and holding hands with another man. It turns out they were also on a date. At the same place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36559) - you deserved it (8648)
On 08/31/2009 at 9:54am - love - by crawfo (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14684) - you deserved it (34379)
On 08/20/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29326) - you deserved it (73745)
On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I released some ducks I had hand raised with my sisters at a local lake. They were raised around my huge German Shepherd, which explains why they didn't freak out when two huge dogs came out of no where and killed three of them, in front of my little sisters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45464) - you deserved it (4957)
On 05/07/2009 at 10:18am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was walking on the track when this really cute guy shows up. I was hot and sweaty, and wanted to impress him by pouring water on myself. Instead of being turned on, all he saw was me wiping my face on my shirt screaming. It wasn't water, I forgot I had brought Sprite. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7942) - you deserved it (73610)
On 05/06/2009 at 7:36am - love - by gymbob (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML
I agree, your life sucks (19070) - you deserved it (74757)
On 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by danggit3290 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I read a PostSecret that said "I'm afraid my thighs will start to touch soon." My thighs have always touched. I didn't even know thighs weren't supposed to touch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47846) - you deserved it (8217)
On 04/29/2009 at 12:13am - health - by fat_thighs (woman) - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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