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evilegit

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evilegit
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  • Number of visits : 312
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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evilegit's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by tossing the ring at me and saying "Here, wear this." FML

#17194109
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46706) - you deserved it (7666)

On 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm - love - by Username - United States

Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML

#17094831
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36785) - you deserved it (2725)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm - intimacy - by wittlegirl - United States (California)

Today, I went to the park with a girl I like. She got playful and climbed a tree, insisting I come up, too. While we were sitting and enjoying the view, she suddenly knocked me off the branch, sending me crashing to the ground. FML

#17044737
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32313) - you deserved it (5490)

On 07/09/2011 at 8:13pm - love - by wolf boy - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was accused of cheating on my wife when an earring was found in our car. I knew it was my mom's missing earring but she didn't believe me. After calling my mom and getting them on the phone to clarify, my wife is upset I told my mother at all. Now I'm not a cheater, just an asshole. FML

#16954245
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39058) - you deserved it (3358)

On 07/02/2011 at 10:15pm - love - by lostbandana - United States

Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML

#15960842
365 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27411) - you deserved it (39626)

On 04/28/2011 at 7:07am - kids - by oldmama728 -

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate and planning on having sex for the first time. I picked her up off the couch, and in so doing, accidentally lifted her too high, putting her head through the ceiling. She had a mild concussion. FML

#15921187
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34041) - you deserved it (18092)

On 04/25/2011 at 3:31pm - intimacy - by Ouch (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

#15281187
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41612) - you deserved it (7285)

On 03/12/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

#15154591
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12631) - you deserved it (33317)

On 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm - health - by stupiddrunk (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while presenting a project I've worked on for months, one of the professors exasperatedly cut in mid-sentence, saying, "Look, it's shit. Just stop already." FML

#14742599
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27289) - you deserved it (3941)

On 01/28/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Slovakia (Bratislava)

Today, my daughter was expelled from her school for beating another kindergartener with a Dr. Seuss book. FML

#14567167
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31809) - you deserved it (6817)

On 01/13/2011 at 3:48pm - kids - by me - United States

Today, my husband invited a couple of his college friends over for dinner. While we were in the middle of eating, one of them asked loudly, "Hey, whatever happened to that fat bitch you dated in your third year?" We've been dating since his second year. FML

#14545720
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32986) - you deserved it (3200)

On 01/11/2011 at 2:06pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to try and man up and act a bit tougher. He started crying. FML

#13881563
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30362) - you deserved it (16133)

On 11/17/2010 at 9:32pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, in my journalism class, after trying hard to find some actual news to comment, we ended up talking about gay porn and fashion designers. FML

#13863869
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7703) - you deserved it (14695)

On 11/16/2010 at 10:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Romania (Cluj)

Today, I was leaving the car wash when I saw my friend walking on the sidewalk. I pulled over next to her and asked if she wanted a ride. Only after getting a face full of the soda she was drinking did I realize I was talking to a complete stranger. FML

#13818357
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19391) - you deserved it (6480)

On 11/12/2010 at 7:24pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I was eating lunch at McDonald's when an older man sat down at the table next to me and told me I was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. I'm a 20 year old man. FML

#13715432
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29085) - you deserved it (5180)

On 11/04/2010 at 3:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)



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