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50 favourites
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Today, my daughter was expelled from her school for beating another kindergartener with a Dr. Seuss book. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26736) - you deserved it (5528)
On 01/13/2011 at 3:48pm - kids - by me - United States
Today, my husband invited a couple of his college friends over for dinner. While we were in the middle of eating, one of them asked loudly, "Hey, whatever happened to that fat bitch you dated in your third year?" We've been dating since his second year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28558) - you deserved it (2575)
On 01/11/2011 at 2:06pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I asked my boyfriend to try and man up and act a bit tougher. He started crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27321) - you deserved it (12964)
On 11/17/2010 at 9:32pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, in my journalism class, after trying hard to find some actual news to comment, we ended up talking about gay porn and fashion designers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6944) - you deserved it (11368)
On 11/16/2010 at 10:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Romania (Cluj)
Today, I went to the library to pick up Romeo and Juliet, for my English class. After looking around for half an hour, I asked the librarian. "I couldn't find Shakespeare anywhere. Where could I find him?" She quickly replied "He's dead", giggled to herself, and went back to her work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18301) - you deserved it (6464)
On 10/26/2010 at 3:48am - misc - by skippy_liz (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boss told me that I'd confessed my love to him last night when he'd held my hair back as I puked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7794) - you deserved it (21709)
On 10/19/2010 at 11:24am - work - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I found out that the blind man I've been helping for months at the grocery store by carrying his shopping around and stuff was actually faking his blindness. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20164) - you deserved it (2446)
On 10/14/2010 at 4:19am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43033) - you deserved it (6027)
Today, I found out that there is literally a giant hole in my son's bedroom because my son wanted to build a "secret entrance." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24760) - you deserved it (3480)
On 09/03/2010 at 12:35am - kids - by Devon - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. While I was asleep, he drew a face on my stomach and when I woke up he was talking to it. He said it would be less weird if he was talking to my stomach with a face on it, representing the baby. According to him, our child is going to have a mustache. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14779) - you deserved it (18278)
On 06/14/2010 at 7:13pm - kids - by gibsonSG323 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found out that my best friend kisses me while I sleep. We're both guys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56768) - you deserved it (6317)
On 06/04/2010 at 10:03pm - love - by weirdesout - United States (Texas)
Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19873) - you deserved it (3265)
On 05/27/2010 at 6:50pm - misc - by Fark (woman) - United Kingdom (Cumbria)
Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33145) - you deserved it (6600)
On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I agreed to let my boyfriend cover every inch of my body in whipped cream and lick it off. We were both enjoying it until his 9 year old sister walked in and started crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8788) - you deserved it (15612)
On 03/07/2010 at 10:46am - intimacy - by fml (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I drunkenly hooked up with my friend's cousin. After trying to stick his finger up my butt, he blacked out on top of me with his penis still hard inside me. I tried yelling his name and pushing him off, with no success. I ended up having to call my friend to help me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6782) - you deserved it (18229)
On 02/23/2010 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by lendahandmanda (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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