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evilegit

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evilegit

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 2 August 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 616
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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evilegit's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

#19772012
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24545) - you deserved it (3305)

On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, on Facebook, my sister posted a ton of photos of herself wearing a skimpy bikini, commenting that she looked hideous and fat. I can't stand attention-seeking fuckballs, so I called her on it. My mother then condemned me for "mocking" my sister, and grounded me for an entire month. FML

#19689652
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31382) - you deserved it (5328)

On 05/27/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by namenlos (man) - Australia

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she was scared that she was more in love with me than I in her, and that she was afraid I would leave her. So she left me instead. I'd been thinking about proposing. FML

#19630328
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32009) - you deserved it (2399)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10am - love - by RingAroundThe..SPLAT (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML

#19586096
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46142) - you deserved it (8849)

On 05/07/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by quirrus (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a basketball game. A very pretty woman sat next to him. During the third quarter, the kiss cam came on. But it didn't show him and me, it showed him and the other girl. And they kissed. FML

#19426684
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44436) - you deserved it (3087)

On 04/07/2012 at 11:19pm - love - by jordyn173 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I realized my Internet addiction had gone too far when I tried to Google what was in my freezer. FML

#19413204
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5900) - you deserved it (23873)

On 04/05/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I spent 3 hours trying to read my dog's mind. FML

#19361987
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6375) - you deserved it (34477)

On 03/28/2012 at 2:57am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, a telemarketer called me and asked if they could speak to my "mommy or daddy". I am 25 years old. FML

#19283246
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22113) - you deserved it (2386)

On 03/15/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I watched Gigli. FML

#19259305
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7681) - you deserved it (24815)

On 03/11/2012 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my new roommate told me he was bisexual. A little concerned, I opened up and told him that made me uncomfortable. His reply: "Oh don't worry, I'm only attracted to good looking guys." FML

#19232371
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12571) - you deserved it (44614)

On 03/07/2012 at 9:01am - misc - by Leland - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my girlfriend revealed to me that she has primeisodophobia. What is primeisodophobia, you may ask? Well, it's the fear of losing your virginity. FML

#19207829
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32199) - you deserved it (4911)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:23am - intimacy - by virginkiller (man) - Singapore

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

#19131405
406 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38092) - you deserved it (5624)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because, I "always wear that stupid little hat." I'm Jewish. FML

#19062488
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37906) - you deserved it (9647)

On 02/13/2012 at 1:00am - love - by Kevin (man) - United States

Today, I took off my sweatshirt in the middle of class. The tanktop I was wearing underneath went with it. FML

#18980998
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28942) - you deserved it (7320)

On 02/02/2012 at 11:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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