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Today, I took my Catholic girlfriend home to meet my family for the first time. My brother thought it would be civil to spend over an hour insulting her religion and explaining in detail the many ways in which "the Force" is superior. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23016) - you deserved it (4597)
On 08/19/2011 at 6:36pm - love - by Jace - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)
Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21967) - you deserved it (2345)
On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I have to take medicine that gives me painful, violent farts. Tomorrow, I have to either get fired or go work in an office that's dead silent. How silent? Last week I heard my coworker drop a paperclip, three desks away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30632) - you deserved it (2760)
On 07/30/2011 at 2:58am - work - by Tootie (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by tossing the ring at me and saying "Here, wear this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41228) - you deserved it (6104)
On 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm - love - by Username - United States
Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (35944) - you deserved it (2700)
On 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm - intimacy - by wittlegirl - United States (California)
Today, I went to the park with a girl I like. She got playful and climbed a tree, insisting I come up, too. While we were sitting and enjoying the view, she suddenly knocked me off the branch, sending me crashing to the ground. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28405) - you deserved it (4482)
On 07/09/2011 at 8:13pm - love - by wolf boy - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was accused of cheating on my wife when an earring was found in our car. I knew it was my mom's missing earring but she didn't believe me. After calling my mom and getting them on the phone to clarify, my wife is upset I told my mother at all. Now I'm not a cheater, just an asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34791) - you deserved it (2648)
On 07/02/2011 at 10:15pm - love - by lostbandana - United States
Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24265) - you deserved it (31166)
On 04/28/2011 at 7:07am - kids - by oldmama728 -
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate and planning on having sex for the first time. I picked her up off the couch, and in so doing, accidentally lifted her too high, putting her head through the ceiling. She had a mild concussion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30211) - you deserved it (14474)
On 04/25/2011 at 3:31pm - intimacy - by Ouch (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39296) - you deserved it (6353)
On 03/12/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10256) - you deserved it (25887)
On 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm - health - by stupiddrunk (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, while presenting a project I've worked on for months, one of the professors exasperatedly cut in mid-sentence, saying, "Look, it's shit. Just stop already." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23571) - you deserved it (3570)
On 01/28/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Slovakia (Bratislava)
Today, my daughter was expelled from her school for beating another kindergartener with a Dr. Seuss book. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26660) - you deserved it (5523)
On 01/13/2011 at 3:48pm - kids - by me - United States
Today, I asked my boyfriend to try and man up and act a bit tougher. He started crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27269) - you deserved it (12945)
On 11/17/2010 at 9:32pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, in my journalism class, after trying hard to find some actual news to comment, we ended up talking about gay porn and fashion designers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6929) - you deserved it (11312)
On 11/16/2010 at 10:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Romania (Cluj)
Monday 20 May 2013
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