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Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18764) - you deserved it (2420)
On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, on Facebook, my sister posted a ton of photos of herself wearing a skimpy bikini, commenting that she looked hideous and fat. I can't stand attention-seeking fuckballs, so I called her on it. My mother then condemned me for "mocking" my sister, and grounded me for an entire month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24846) - you deserved it (3942)
On 05/27/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by namenlos (man) - Australia
Today, my girlfriend confessed that she was scared that she was more in love with me than I in her, and that she was afraid I would leave her. So she left me instead. I'd been thinking about proposing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25471) - you deserved it (1653)
On 05/16/2012 at 12:10am - love - by RingAroundThe..SPLAT (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend and I went to a basketball game. A very pretty woman sat next to him. During the third quarter, the kiss cam came on. But it didn't show him and me, it showed him and the other girl. And they kissed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38084) - you deserved it (2629)
On 04/07/2012 at 11:19pm - love - by jordyn173 - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I realized my Internet addiction had gone too far when I tried to Google what was in my freezer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4294) - you deserved it (15290)
On 04/05/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I spent 3 hours trying to read my dog's mind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4518) - you deserved it (23408)
On 03/28/2012 at 2:57am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, a telemarketer called me and asked if they could speak to my "mommy or daddy". I am 25 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16560) - you deserved it (1652)
On 03/15/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
I agree, your life sucks (6132) - you deserved it (16627)
On 03/11/2012 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my new roommate told me he was bisexual. A little concerned, I opened up and told him that made me uncomfortable. His reply: "Oh don't worry, I'm only attracted to good looking guys." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9796) - you deserved it (38430)
On 03/07/2012 at 9:01am - misc - by Leland - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my girlfriend revealed to me that she has primeisodophobia. What is primeisodophobia, you may ask? Well, it's the fear of losing your virginity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24583) - you deserved it (3412)
On 03/03/2012 at 8:23am - intimacy - by virginkiller (man) - Singapore
Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29704) - you deserved it (4053)
On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8016) - you deserved it (41488)
On 02/13/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by SpLo0gIeR - United States
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because, I "always wear that stupid little hat." I'm Jewish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31114) - you deserved it (7483)
On 02/13/2012 at 1:00am - love - by Kevin (man) - United States
Today, I took off my sweatshirt in the middle of class. The tanktop I was wearing underneath went with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23556) - you deserved it (5423)
On 02/02/2012 at 11:23pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33885) - you deserved it (1911)
On 02/02/2012 at 6:32am - misc - by aliezzedine (man) - Lebanon
Monday 20 May 2013
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