evilegit

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Offline (the 01/14/2015 at 4:08pm)

evilegit

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 2 August 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2877
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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evilegit's page activity

Visits<b>RipeFlame</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 1:55pm<b>xx_ginny</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 6:01am<b>joarasmi</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 11:15pm<b>kandee_bc</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 10:41pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 3:06pm

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evilegit's favorite FMLs

Today, my in-laws kept mocking me for being "too clean" because I take a shower every day. They think I'm weird and kept saying things like "Be careful when you hug your daughter, she might squeak!" and calling me names like "water-wasting bitch." They haven't stopped all day. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2014 at 12:26pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, while playing a big basketball game, I had to run urgently to the bathroom because of a really hard diarrhea. I took the ball. FML

by took it / 02/09/2014 at 9:36am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2014 at 6:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

by Anonomous / 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm / United States (Vermont) / Animals

Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML

by B_and_W / 11/21/2013 at 6:35am / France / Kids

Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when a girl came out of nowhere, screaming at me for cheating on her, and saying she was dumping me. I've never seen her before, and she was almost grinning during her little act, but my girlfriend believed it, and I'm now single. FML

by fuckingtrollingskankwhoreshitwankcuntfuck / 07/13/2013 at 1:33pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

by Never Going Back To The Doctor / 07/04/2013 at 3:03am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was bored so I began to try to convince my boyfriend that Albert Einstein was actually African-American, and that he painted himself white so he would be accepted as a scientist. Due to his competitive nature, he replied, "I already knew that babe." FML

by anonymous / 06/25/2013 at 2:12am / United States (Minnesota) / Geek

Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2013 at 11:29am / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

by hinting / 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

by tinypenis / 06/04/2013 at 8:15am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a bus ride home, listening to some music. The music stopped and I assumed my iPod's battery had run out. Turns out someone managed to steal it, leaving my earphones in. I didn't feel a thing. FML

by stupid / 05/27/2013 at 7:16am / Lithuania (Kauno Apskritis) / Transportation

Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of 4 months. FML

by datgirl92 / 05/24/2013 at 10:00am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was coming home from a much-needed vacation. The time I spent on the plane consisted of kids screaming and throwing tantrums. One of them managed to give me a black eye with a shoe. Their mom pretended to be asleep so I'd have to deal with her kids for her. FML

by Satan'sChildren / 04/27/2013 at 10:30pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Holidays

Today, I found out I was an alcoholic. Not from my friends or family, but because the ice-maker couldn't keep up with the amount of drinks I've been making. FML

by KyngJulian / 04/22/2013 at 10:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous