evilamoebaattack

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Offline (the 04/06/2016 at 8:36am)

evilamoebaattack

13Fucked!

evilamoebaattack
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 August 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3019
  • Number of comments : 92
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About evilamoebaattack : gah.

evilamoebaattack's page activity

Visits<b>sexyboi1985</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 11:34pm<b>TheNight</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 10:26pm<b>jill97</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 10:48pm<b>niftyismybitch</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 6:53am<b>Fertil14</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 9:25pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 11:26pm<b>lunar999</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 11:08am<b>paigexox0</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 4:05pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 7:31pm<b>kemosabe4201</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 4:40am<b>ArchxAngel</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 8:02pm<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 4:33am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 12:22am<b>a3gab</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 7:31am<b>bigmusclebro</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 7:45pm<b>sheeshadevil</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 1:49am<b>mongoosemike</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 4:25pm<b>Chandrashekar</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 10:55pm

Fucked!<b>sexyboi1985</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 4:46am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 1:31am<b>ArchxAngel</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 2:02am<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 10:33am<b>keiNan</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 8:06pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 1:12pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 4:22am<b>Cozy_Blanket</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 12:33pm<b>saraitkddh</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 10:48pm<b>Dick_diamond</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 3:16am<b>Chelserser</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 8:04am<b>lukian</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 10:21pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 1:38pm

evilamoebaattack's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of evilamoebaattack's badges

evilamoebaattack's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend gave me the painting he had been working on. It was a heart with wings, my name, and the date we started dating. We have been dating for almost a year and a half. He misspelled my name. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2013 at 7:30pm / United States (Kansas) / Love

Today, my 7-year-old son proudly announced that he had laid an egg during the night. I checked. He'd simply shat the bed. FML

by Anonymous / 08/13/2013 at 4:49am / Kids

Today, my 14-year-old daughter convinced my son that when he was born, he was actually born as a girl, but we wanted a boy so bad we had his gender changed. Now he wants to change back to a girl because now he doesn't feel right as a boy. Last year, she got her other brother to cross dress. FML

by mydaughterisdisturbed / 08/11/2013 at 8:58pm / United States (Indiana) / Kids

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

by Blood on my hands / 08/07/2013 at 1:40am / United States / Animals

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

by wtfmama / 05/04/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

by halliemarie1818 / 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm / United States / Animals

Today, I woke up from a nightmare that I've been having for a couple of weeks. In the nightmare I'm shot four times in the back by none other than my mother. I'm getting worried. FML

by slightlyworried / 04/05/2013 at 1:28am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my gorgeous, smart, perfect new boyfriend has an unusual fetish. It doesn't involve me at all actually. Just a Labrador. This is probably a deal breaker. FML

by soontobesingle / 03/19/2013 at 7:30am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

by Lilypad / 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm / Intimacy

Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2013 at 12:56am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I unknowingly bought a house next to a former toxic waste dump. I found out by reading an article in the paper where residents are claiming that they are experiencing cancer and birth defects. FML

by toxic waste / 02/11/2013 at 11:18pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

by catdog / 01/02/2013 at 1:07am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

by Rhine / 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm / Barbados (Saint Michael) / Love

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

by Cracky / 11/27/2012 at 9:32am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous