Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

evilamoebaattack

Offline (18 hours ago) | Search for a member

evilamoebaattack

0Liked!

evilamoebaattack
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 August 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 860
  • Number of comments : 48
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About evilamoebaattack : their arcane trek.

evilamoebaattack's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - 16 hours ago<b>squadoodle</b> - 19 hours ago<b>rocker_chick23</b> - 22 hours ago<b>ostfaiz</b> - yesterday at 11:37am<b>Indatshirt</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 12:49am<b>Ihavegas</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 6:44pm<b>pratikp03</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 1:04am<b>tagallopes</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 6:25pm<b>Rogerrr57</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 9:07am<b>numbers878</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 2:50am<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 12:53pm<b>Celestial_Dreams</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 3:09pm<b>totallybananas</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 2:58pm<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 2:15pm<b>AlexRen</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 11:59am<b>j_cat187</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 10:49am<b>subiegirl13</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 3:49am<b>sexyboi1985</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 8:12am

evilamoebaattack's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of evilamoebaattack's badges

evilamoebaattack's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49085) - you deserved it (21221)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend said we can't have sex with the light on anymore. He said he can never finish because the face I make when I orgasm makes him laugh. FML

#21216984
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36246) - you deserved it (23687)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:55am - intimacy - by teegtwo (woman) - United States

Today, I went to a market. I saw stall which had mainly animal furs and things like that. I found a rounded, furry pen and stroked my cheek with it. Wondering what it was, being so soft and oddly shaped, I checked the tag. It was kangaroo testicles. FML

#21211381
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36174) - you deserved it (17565)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:31pm - misc - by happypineapple - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to a market. I saw stall which had mainly animal furs and things like that. I found a rounded, furry pen and stroked my cheek with it. Wondering what it was, being so soft and oddly shaped, I checked the tag. It was kangaroo testicles. FML

#21211381
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36174) - you deserved it (17565)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:31pm - misc - by happypineapple - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boss delivered some flowers and a sympathy card signed by everyone in the office to my cubicle. The card said, "Sorry your mom died". My mom isn't dead. I don't know where they got the idea from and no one believes me. They said that denial is part of grieving. FML

#21204205
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43672) - you deserved it (3078)

On 07/09/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by ninnang - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52040) - you deserved it (16836)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I got written up for drinking on the job by a manager who drinks on the job, who was told to write me up by a general manager who drinks on the job, and we are all employed by an owner who drinks on the job. I haven't had a drink in 3 weeks. FML

Today, my daughter asked me the difference between "their" and "they're". This is the same child I've been spending thousands of dollars on to send to law school. FML

#21072333
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40727) - you deserved it (5724)

On 02/26/2014 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML

#21067130
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49021) - you deserved it (3949)

On 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm - misc - by BakedBat (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

#21031414
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49357) - you deserved it (9287)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mother told her friends that I work as a call girl. I'm a call center agent. FML

#20989169
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36286) - you deserved it (2842)

On 12/11/2013 at 5:25pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Luxembourg

Today, I was staying at a seedy apartment. A group of drunken idiots next door decided it would be fun to run into the wall simultaneously. They broke through the rotted wall and ran me over. FML

#20982547
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40239) - you deserved it (2962)

On 12/06/2013 at 4:36am - misc - by unlucky neighbors - China (Shanghai)

Today, I was staying at a seedy apartment. A group of drunken idiots next door decided it would be fun to run into the wall simultaneously. They broke through the rotted wall and ran me over. FML

#20982547
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40239) - you deserved it (2962)

On 12/06/2013 at 4:36am - misc - by unlucky neighbors - China (Shanghai)

Today, my neighbor brought a ruined napkin holder over and claimed that we drilled a hole through his wall and ruined it. I apologized, not telling him that it was actually a bullet that my boyfriend shot through the wall. FML

#20974338
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22597) - you deserved it (35891)

On 11/29/2013 at 12:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I turned 30. While all my friends are getting married, furthering careers and having children, I'm still sat around being as immature as I was as a teenager. I'm going through a classic case of premature age-jaculation. I laughed for 10 minutes after coming up with that. FML



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: