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evfl10

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evfl10

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  • Number of visits : 92
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evfl10's favorite FMLs

Today, after having bought my daughter a complete set of new school clothes, she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them, or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML

#20102964
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25079) - you deserved it (9013)

On 10/05/2012 at 2:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wokingham)

Today, I got lost at Best Buy. Meanwhile, my mom freaked out, and they called out my name over the intercom. When I walked up to the desk and they saw I was 17, the employees burst out laughing. FML

#20098355
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20617) - you deserved it (3829)

On 10/02/2012 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anna - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I bought my nephew some giant green Incredible Hulk fists for his birthday. He thanked me by Hulk-smashing me in the nuts. FML

#20086472
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19736) - you deserved it (5670)

On 09/24/2012 at 10:33am - kids - by smashed (man) - United States

Today, my cat woke me up, but not by kneading on me though. Instead, she woke me up by pouncing on the laser pointer my dad was shining on my face. FML

#19673871
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19790) - you deserved it (2158)

On 05/24/2012 at 5:18pm - animals - by XxEmoWolfiexX (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML

#19668555
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22015) - you deserved it (2844)

On 05/23/2012 at 5:14pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went out on his boat. We got in the water and started to have sex when a fishing boat came by and chummed. There's nothing more romantic than bloody fish guts. FML

#19666580
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19535) - you deserved it (9631)

On 05/23/2012 at 5:38am - intimacy - by Fire0fisis (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML

#19662141
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17617) - you deserved it (3280)

On 05/22/2012 at 12:11pm - love - by boblaj (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML

#19651204
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19308) - you deserved it (7697)

On 05/20/2012 at 11:03am - health - by jcdc - United States (Texas)

Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML

#19646260
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37755) - you deserved it (5036)

On 05/19/2012 at 11:08am - intimacy - by maggierose171 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
474 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47115) - you deserved it (4368)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML

#19598772
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11119) - you deserved it (36341)

On 05/09/2012 at 6:19pm - intimacy - by polimeros (man) - Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga)

Today, my boyfriend cuffed my legs to the bed. After the sex we discovered one of the cuffs wouldn't open. After an hour of trying to pry them open, I had to waddle with him to the fire station to have them removed in front of 4 amused firefighters. FML

#19576314
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21560) - you deserved it (7802)

On 05/05/2012 at 8:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML

#19249177
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21316) - you deserved it (4181)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:04am - love - by atsukobo - United States

Today, I was apparently tired enough to spray silly string under my armpits rather than deodorant. FML

#18920760
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20781) - you deserved it (6157)

On 01/26/2012 at 10:22pm - misc - by ParkerRommel (man) - United States

Today, I had a swollen knee, and was slowly limping to the toilet. All of a sudden, my mom ran past me, beating me to it. As she closed the door, she said, "AT LEAST I CAN RUN!" FML

#18917504
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25109) - you deserved it (2566) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/26/2012 at 5:08pm - health - by Jen_ - France



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