evfl10

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evfl10

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 371
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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evfl10's favorite FMLs

Today, after having bought my daughter a complete set of new school clothes, she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them, or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2012 at 2:22pm / United Kingdom (Wokingham) / Kids

Today, I got lost at Best Buy. Meanwhile, my mom freaked out, and they called out my name over the intercom. When I walked up to the desk and they saw I was 17, the employees burst out laughing. FML

by Anna / 10/02/2012 at 1:37pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I bought my nephew some giant green Incredible Hulk fists for his birthday. He thanked me by Hulk-smashing me in the nuts. FML

by smashed / 09/24/2012 at 10:33am / United States / Kids

Today, my cat woke me up, but not by kneading on me though. Instead, she woke me up by pouncing on the laser pointer my dad was shining on my face. FML

by XxEmoWolfiexX / 05/24/2012 at 5:18pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals

Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML

by Anonymous / 05/23/2012 at 5:14pm / United States / Money

Today, my boyfriend and I went out on his boat. We got in the water and started to have sex when a fishing boat came by and chummed. There's nothing more romantic than bloody fish guts. FML

by Fire0fisis / 05/23/2012 at 5:38am / Hong Kong / Intimacy

Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML

by boblaj / 05/22/2012 at 12:11pm / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Love

Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML

by jcdc / 05/20/2012 at 11:03am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML

by maggierose171 / 05/19/2012 at 11:08am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

by smart move there / 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm / Ireland (Kildare) / Intimacy

Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML

by polimeros / 05/09/2012 at 6:19pm / Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend cuffed my legs to the bed. After the sex we discovered one of the cuffs wouldn't open. After an hour of trying to pry them open, I had to waddle with him to the fire station to have them removed in front of 4 amused firefighters. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2012 at 8:07am / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Intimacy

Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML

by atsukobo / 03/10/2012 at 1:04am / United States / Love

Today, I was apparently tired enough to spray silly string under my armpits rather than deodorant. FML

by ParkerRommel / 01/26/2012 at 10:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a swollen knee, and was slowly limping to the toilet. All of a sudden, my mom ran past me, beating me to it. As she closed the door, she said, "AT LEAST I CAN RUN!" FML

by Jen_ / 01/26/2012 at 5:08pm / France / Health