Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

evanescence

Offline (the 03/01/2014 at 8:13am) | Search for a member

evanescence

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 76734
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 108 posted

About evanescence : I totally haven't posted 108 FMLs LOL I don't know why my account says I have!!

Okay guys, I used to share this account with my best guy friend. 2 of my FML posts have been confirmed, both say as a man. I AM A GIRL, the one about my brother was me, the other one was my friend. He doesn't use this website anymore so he stopped coming on this account, and I use it rarely.

Anyways, I love Evanescence and I love people who love Evanescence.

evanescence's page activity

Visits<b>J3wl3acca</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 3:52am<b>Bob3332</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 9:26pm<b>hpoxx</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 2:06pm<b>ZmeyCyanide</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 9:40pm<b>PrincessCastiel</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 12:07am<b>xLIGHTS</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 11:50pm<b>Rag_dollxx</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 8:17pm<b>elmatador615</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 10:55am<b>avealoe</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 2:36am<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 4:02pm<b>RawrImaDragon</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 3:49am<b>insanez58</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 11:05pm<b>CaptainFoxbutt</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 11:25pm<b>Kenton1008</b> - the 04/06/2013 at 7:36pm<b>purplexpinapple</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 2:32am<b>Wedees</b> - the 02/04/2013 at 11:41pm<b>missalice0306</b> - the 08/21/2012 at 3:37pm<b>DebbieKaysen</b> - the 04/06/2012 at 3:30am

evanescence's FML badges

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of evanescence's badges

evanescence's favorite FMLs

Today, I begged my husband to take me to the ER cause my stomach hurt so bad I thought I was gonna die. He told me to go sit on the toilet and stop being a drama queen. I drove myself to the hospital just in time for my appendix to burst. I almost died because my husband was busy playing xbox. FML

#8659721
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52044) - you deserved it (3757)

On 02/26/2010 at 7:55am - health - by Jeri (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I begged my husband to take me to the ER cause my stomach hurt so bad I thought I was gonna die. He told me to go sit on the toilet and stop being a drama queen. I drove myself to the hospital just in time for my appendix to burst. I almost died because my husband was busy playing xbox. FML

#8659721
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52044) - you deserved it (3757)

On 02/26/2010 at 7:55am - health - by Jeri (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was working as a cashier at a restaurant. When I receive $50 and $100 bills I am required to have a manager check to make sure they are not counterfeit. Every manager I found yelled at me to find another manager because they were busy. Frustrated, I just accepted the bill. It was fake. FML

#8643590
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31170) - you deserved it (5734)

On 02/25/2010 at 5:29pm - work - by hatemyjob (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was bored at work looking at a sex offender list of my area. After a couple pages, I saw my uncle. FML

#8638968
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39783) - you deserved it (2366)

On 02/25/2010 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by grossuncle (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom drove my family to the desert for a themed family photo. We had to wear big frumpy old western-looking clothes in 115 degree weather. Hot and agitated, I muttered, "This is the ugliest thing I've ever had to wear." My mom, looking hurt, replied, "That's my wedding dress." FML

#8630482
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16857) - you deserved it (24062)

On 02/25/2010 at 12:09am - misc - by Lespoon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my roommate brought a kitten to the apartment. I hate cats, and probably sensing this, the thing clawed me right in the crotch. I of course am not going to say a thing because I happen to be in love with my roommate, but she has no clue how much I hate this thing. FML

#8621697
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11913) - you deserved it (23268)

On 02/24/2010 at 7:29pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML

#8612395
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23125) - you deserved it (4099)

On 02/24/2010 at 10:06am - intimacy - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was brushing my teeth when I felt a lump of something in the corner of my mouth. Naturally assuming it would be a bit of food that my toothbrush had dislodged, I spat it out into the sink. It was a woodlouse. FML

#8611277
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27269) - you deserved it (2762)

On 02/24/2010 at 7:58am - misc - by puzzled (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, while visiting my in-laws, I went into their home office in search of a sheet of scrap paper. Instead, I found printed copies of every email and IM my husband and I had ever sent each other, including pictures. Highlighted and annotated by his mother. FML

#8606853
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29387) - you deserved it (1740)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:47am - misc - by ks0300 - United States (Texas)

Today, I drunkenly hooked up with my friend's cousin. After trying to stick his finger up my butt, he blacked out on top of me with his penis still hard inside me. I tried yelling his name and pushing him off, with no success. I ended up having to call my friend to help me. FML

Today, I drunkenly hooked up with my friend's cousin. After trying to stick his finger up my butt, he blacked out on top of me with his penis still hard inside me. I tried yelling his name and pushing him off, with no success. I ended up having to call my friend to help me. FML

Today, I found out that my girlfriend started a fake argument and pretended to be mad at me for four days, which was almost enough time for the gigantic hickey that my best friend gave her on her neck to heal. FML

#8588296
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36555) - you deserved it (1990)

On 02/23/2010 at 1:57pm - love - by mrniceguy - United States

Today, someone gave me a note to pass along to a girl in class. The note had the girl's name surrounded by hearts. When I gave it to her, she assumed it was a love note from me, and said "Not in a million years, fat ass" before I could say it was from someone else. FML

#8568837
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30546) - you deserved it (3059)

On 02/22/2010 at 9:46pm - love - by Crappyfayman (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was awakened, in the middle of the night, by the sound of crying coming from outside. There's a mile in between houses where I live. FML

#8546580
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28225) - you deserved it (2192)

On 02/22/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by holycow (man) - United States (California)

Today, I hung out with the guy I've liked for the first time in 3 years. And when he left, I gave him a hug, he pushed me, I tripped, and hit my head into the wall. Then to save his embarassment, pushed me over onto the couch and pretended to rape me. FML



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: