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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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evanescence

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evanescence
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 72864
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 108 posted

About evanescence : I totally haven't posted 106 FMLs LOL I don't know why my account says I have!!

Okay guys, I've let my friends post on here before (and I believe 2 have been confirmed) but now I've changed my password and it's just my account. Don't ask why we were sharing in the first place, I don't know.

Anyways, I love Evanescence and I love people who love Evanescence.

evanescence's last visitors

silly_little_diaChingy892987Awesomeness44YunoGasaiBellaMartaCaptainPickles72Freezemr_sphincterZebrasofa13

evanescence's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

evanescence's favorite FMLs

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

#9133208 (337)

I agree, your life sucks (20520) - you deserved it (5171)

On 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm - health - by liu_kang - United States

Today, I was proposed to in a McDonald's. FML

#9127255 (502)

I agree, your life sucks (47596) - you deserved it (9590)

On 03/16/2010 at 6:55am - love - by hater -

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

#9110965 (245)

I agree, your life sucks (30843) - you deserved it (6134)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend of almost a year and a half broke up with me when he decided he wasn't in love with me anymore. We gave our stuff back, he was joking and happy the whole time until I told him I was taking back my cat. At that point he burst into tears. FML

#9101035 (198)

I agree, your life sucks (22677) - you deserved it (2345)

On 03/15/2010 at 11:27am - love - by stunned (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, he started playing with my nipples. Suddenly he stops kissing me, looks at my nipples and says, "Have they always been like this? They look like joysticks!". He then started singing the Super Mario Brother's theme song and playing the game with my nipples. FML

#9086835 (241)

I agree, your life sucks (19042) - you deserved it (3543)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learnt that the people I work with dislike me so much that they have a competition to see who can accidentally hurt me the most. How did I find out? A chef poured boiling water over my hands, and another shouted "50 POINTS!" FML

#9067691 (232)

I agree, your life sucks (25058) - you deserved it (4138)

On 03/14/2010 at 5:09am - misc - by Cooky (man) - United Kingdom (Calderdale)

Today, I realized that not only am I still an unpublished author, but I can't even get an FML posted after submitting several in the last year. FML

#9042400 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (23342) - you deserved it (4717)

On 03/13/2010 at 8:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my dad asked me if I could convince my mother to get a Brazillian wax. If that's not bad enough, my mother heard and yelled from the other room, "I like my furball." FML

#9041294 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (24029) - you deserved it (1518)

On 03/13/2010 at 5:35am - intimacy - by Grossed Out - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my new neighbours came over to introduce themselves. I open the door to see my ex-husband, with a horrified look on his face, and his girlfriend. FML

#9029119 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (22648) - you deserved it (1171)

On 03/12/2010 at 7:08pm - love - by abby0019 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered my step mom had thrown out my baby blanket because it was an "eyesore". It was an heirloom from my birth mother and the only thing I have left from her. FML

#9024995 (397)

I agree, your life sucks (37415) - you deserved it (1280)

On 03/12/2010 at 3:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML

#9019177 (291)

I agree, your life sucks (21164) - you deserved it (4685)

On 03/12/2010 at 8:17am - love - by justlittleoldme (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I found out my ex boyfriend who recently cheated on me and broke up with me for another girl, has herpes. Guess how I found out? FML

#8993133 (243)

I agree, your life sucks (26708) - you deserved it (2653)

On 03/11/2010 at 7:50am - intimacy - by cheated (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I congratulated my friend for getting engaged. This is the fourth friend of mine this year that has become engaged. I haven't even had a boyfriend yet. FML

#8992820 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (19440) - you deserved it (3734)

On 03/11/2010 at 7:16am - love - by Lonely (woman) - New Zealand

Today, I was eating a hotdog. My huge Siberian Husky, upon becoming aware of this, jumped up on me. He forced his tongue into my mouth and ate the food I was in the middle of eating. FML

#8980708 (275)

I agree, your life sucks (20240) - you deserved it (4835)

On 03/10/2010 at 8:14pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Illinois)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got food poisoning and have had the worst diarrhea ever. I laid down in bed, hoping to get some rest when my dad thought it'd be a good idea to sneak into my room and scare the shit out of me. Literally. FML

#8910408 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (23275) - you deserved it (1403)

On 03/08/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by itsEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Washington)