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essex

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essex
  • Town/Country : Boston, U.S.
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 15 September 1987 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 1661
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About essex : I'm an angry person. Don't take it personally. Actually, some of you probably should.

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essex's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me by saying, "It's not you, it's me. I have a terrible taste in women." FML

#20140004
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21528) - you deserved it (2073)

On 10/30/2012 at 9:27am - love - by LonelyMe -

Today, I got home to find our house broken into. Among other things, the thieves took our television, my laptop and several pieces of expensive jewelry. Also missing was my daughter's My Little Pony collection. I think we were robbed by a Brony. FML

#19450814
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18299) - you deserved it (1237)

On 04/11/2012 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned why the phrase "seafood taco salad" terrifies everyone in the school's cafeteria. What happened to me after eating it made Saw III look like a Disney movie. FML

#19352692
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16317) - you deserved it (2934)

On 03/26/2012 at 6:21pm - health - by Mandy - United States

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

#18967800
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50861) - you deserved it (3880)

On 02/01/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my nine year old stepson overheard me telling my husband that I was almost out of my favorite shampoo, and since it was discontinued, I couldn't buy any more. He got in the shower and happily emptied the bottles down the drain. FML

#18960486
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21001) - you deserved it (3579)

On 01/31/2012 at 12:31pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I caught myself thinking about what to cook for dinner tonight. During sex. FML

#18878139
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23437) - you deserved it (6130)

On 01/22/2012 at 6:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it was our one year anniversary. After a surprise re-creation of our first date, we went home, in the mood for love. The food poisoning from the restaurant had a different idea. FML

#18694109
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25929) - you deserved it (1983)

On 01/03/2012 at 3:14am - love - by snarly1 - United States (California)

Today, I received my first phone call of the new year. It was the police station informing me that my elderly grandmother has been arrested for indecent exposure. FML

#18673458
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30339) - you deserved it (2198)

On 01/01/2012 at 8:51am - misc - by Grandson (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up to slight memory of my boyfriend leaving for work an hour earlier than originally planned due to "excessive sweat" in my bed. When I removed my sheets and took in a deep whiff, my olfactory receptors instantly knew that his so called "sweat" was actually his urine. FML

#18642967
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23343) - you deserved it (2368)

On 12/29/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by dontpeeonmenxtime (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my husband left his laptop logged in to a chat site after leaving for work. Curious, I read some of the logs, and discovered he has been posing as a woman and holding filthy conversations with "hot teen lesbians" for the past several months. FML

#18599933
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42266) - you deserved it (5435)

On 12/24/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my apartment was broken into. The thief stole my TV, $350, and my Christmas tree. There is still a trail of broken ornaments from my living room to the door. FML

#18595788
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22856) - you deserved it (1806)

On 12/24/2011 at 3:11am - misc - by treeless - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I moved to California. Too bad the rest of my belongings didn't. FML

#18267305
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24163) - you deserved it (2570)

On 11/16/2011 at 8:32pm - health - by tomoxishigaki - United States (California)

Today, I have done enough trials to confirm that I puke after each time I have sex. FML

#18233744
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38425) - you deserved it (3769)

On 11/13/2011 at 12:19am - intimacy - by unlucky - United States

Today, I have done enough trials to confirm that I puke after each time I have sex. FML

#18233744
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38425) - you deserved it (3769)

On 11/13/2011 at 12:19am - intimacy - by unlucky - United States

Today, my daughter in law sent me another romantic text that was meant for her husband. Not only can't she spell for shit, the clichés she uses are horrifyingly embarrassing. The fact this keeps happening makes me want to slam her head in the oven. FML

#18229715
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24027) - you deserved it (3802)

On 11/12/2011 at 4:42pm - misc - by Username - United States



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