essex

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Offline (the 10/31/2015 at 4:02pm)

essex

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 15 September 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3199
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About essex : I'm an angry person. Don't take it personally. Actually, some of you probably should.

essex's page activity

Visits<b>youfancyhuh</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 10:35pm<b>gary3768</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 1:25am<b>XxOptiCxDucKxX</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 11:56pm<b>Rcmpbell</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 11:04pm<b>jonathanedwards</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 10:53pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 9:54pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 9:41pm<b>SAspring</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 9:41pm<b>pattycmom</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 2:57am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:38pm<b>Worrisome</b> - the 07/29/2011 at 12:33am<b>NoOneLovesYou</b> - the 03/06/2011 at 8:15pm

essex's FML badges

Socialite

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Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of essex's badges

essex's favorite FMLs

Today, I got my car cleaned. As I drove home, the passenger of the van in front of me vomited out the window. The vomit sailed back and splattered all over the front of my car. A waste of £10 and a mental image that will never go away. FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2014 at 11:35am / United Kingdom (Angus) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me by saying, "It's not you, it's me. I have a terrible taste in women." FML

by LonelyMe / 10/30/2012 at 9:27am / Love

Today, I got home to find our house broken into. Among other things, the thieves took our television, my laptop and several pieces of expensive jewelry. Also missing was my daughter's My Little Pony collection. I think we were robbed by a Brony. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2012 at 5:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned why the phrase "seafood taco salad" terrifies everyone in the school's cafeteria. What happened to me after eating it made Saw III look like a Disney movie. FML

by Mandy / 03/26/2012 at 6:21pm / United States / Health

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

by Anonymous / 02/01/2012 at 10:01am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my nine year old stepson overheard me telling my husband that I was almost out of my favorite shampoo, and since it was discontinued, I couldn't buy any more. He got in the shower and happily emptied the bottles down the drain. FML

by Anonymous / 01/31/2012 at 12:31pm / United States / Kids

Today, I caught myself thinking about what to cook for dinner tonight. During sex. FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2012 at 6:44am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, it was our one year anniversary. After a surprise re-creation of our first date, we went home, in the mood for love. The food poisoning from the restaurant had a different idea. FML

by snarly1 / 01/03/2012 at 3:14am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I received my first phone call of the new year. It was the police station informing me that my elderly grandmother has been arrested for indecent exposure. FML

by Grandson / 01/01/2012 at 8:51am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to slight memory of my boyfriend leaving for work an hour earlier than originally planned due to "excessive sweat" in my bed. When I removed my sheets and took in a deep whiff, my olfactory receptors instantly knew that his so called "sweat" was actually his urine. FML

by dontpeeonmenxtime / 12/29/2011 at 9:51am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband left his laptop logged in to a chat site after leaving for work. Curious, I read some of the logs, and discovered he has been posing as a woman and holding filthy conversations with "hot teen lesbians" for the past several months. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2011 at 4:50pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my apartment was broken into. The thief stole my TV, $350, and my Christmas tree. There is still a trail of broken ornaments from my living room to the door. FML

by treeless / 12/24/2011 at 3:11am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I moved to California. Too bad the rest of my belongings didn't. FML

by tomoxishigaki / 11/16/2011 at 8:32pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I have done enough trials to confirm that I puke after each time I have sex. FML

by unlucky / 11/13/2011 at 12:19am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I have done enough trials to confirm that I puke after each time I have sex. FML

by unlucky / 11/13/2011 at 12:19am / United States / Intimacy