Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

esquared77

Search for a member

esquared77

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 September 1977 (36 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3769
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

esquared77's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:18pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 09/08/2009 at 2:47pm<b>Alex_DeLarge</b> - the 08/28/2009 at 4:45pm<b>prplr</b> - the 08/25/2009 at 5:19pm<b>Failzoid</b> - the 07/04/2009 at 10:35am<b>innnadaze</b> - the 05/28/2009 at 1:51pm<b>brokenkid211</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 3:07am<b>nokiac_b</b> - the 05/26/2009 at 1:41am<b>PsycoJester</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 10:38pm<b>mari0958</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 4:39pm

esquared77's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

esquared77's favorite FMLs

Today, an extremely attractive woman from FedEx came to deliver my new phone. I was wearing athletic shorts and had an erection. She looked down and laughed. FML

#4680199
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36873) - you deserved it (17432)

On 08/20/2009 at 11:55am - intimacy - by littleguy (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML

#4156027
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53265) - you deserved it (3141)

On 07/30/2009 at 7:34am - kids - by Herdad (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, at lifeguard class, I played a victim while my peers strapped me to the backboard in the water. When I was strapped down, I got wood in a wet swimsuit. My hands were strapped down so I could do nothing to hide it. FML

#3271305
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60512) - you deserved it (9149)

On 06/27/2009 at 9:47am - intimacy - by Victim (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, there was a parents bike race on the track at my high school for a fundraiser. My dad entered, and ended up winning. He did his victory dance with a massive erection showing through his spandex. Just about all of my friends, teachers, other parents, and the hot soccer team saw. FML

#2501660
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59908) - you deserved it (3525)

On 06/01/2009 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by biker2012 (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was performing CPR on a woman on her floor while her internal defibrillator kept firing, making her whole body jump. When it fired, her hand went straight up into my nuts. FML

#2271670
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49065) - you deserved it (3573)

On 05/25/2009 at 11:14am - work - by EMT_Koulianos (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31835) - you deserved it (140913)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
923 comments

I agree, your life sucks (343988) - you deserved it (38467)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

#553935
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84020) - you deserved it (31417)

On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
518 comments

I agree, your life sucks (239693) - you deserved it (31624)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I fell asleep in history class. I was dreaming about my history teacher. When I woke up everyone stared at me rather weirdly and the teacher wasn't there. Turns out I was moaning my history teachers name through my sleep. FML

#379230
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (124746) - you deserved it (36459)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by asleepinclass (woman) - Poland (Warszawa)

Today, a girl-scout asked me to buy cookies, in front of Giant. She looked nice, so I bought 5 boxes from her. She took the money and went home with her mom. I opened the boxes when I got home and realized that the boxes just had rocks in them. I got scammed by a girl-scout. FML

#357552
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (210665) - you deserved it (35085)

On 03/15/2009 at 9:14pm - money - by twit (man) - United States (Maryland)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: