eruditecognition

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eruditecognition

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 January 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 856
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About eruditecognition : ...

eruditecognition's page activity

Visits<b>loumonroe</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 10:45am<b>NicoleP1993</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 10:17pm<b>sparklemuffin</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 10:07pm<b>Narttu</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 12:43pm<b>sophiebecker</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 1:04am<b>fmaae82</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 10:04am<b>theWulff</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 3:31pm<b>bkingkingking</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 6:16pm<b>lambda</b> - the 02/26/2013 at 3:51pm<b>Harshdfml</b> - the 02/26/2013 at 3:32pm<b>FinJage</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 5:39pm<b>ksks1234</b> - the 02/01/2013 at 9:41pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 7:17pm<b>G3K0</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 10:07am<b>mubaki</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 5:18pm<b>Baustigt</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 9:52am<b>QueenMichael</b> - the 12/26/2012 at 11:14am<b>Thegreatreyrey</b> - the 12/25/2012 at 2:46am

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eruditecognition's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter told me that she wanted to live with her father because they have a faster internet connection. FML

by grrr1234 / 07/01/2012 at 12:00pm / Kids

Today, I was having sex with the guy I've been in love with for years. I moaned, "say my name." He didn't know it. FML

by say my name / 06/30/2012 at 9:35pm / Intimacy

Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML

by pissed off / 06/30/2012 at 9:00pm / Animals

Today, I have four flights. I spent last night projectile vomiting with food poisoning. By the time I got to the airport it had progressed to liquid diarhea. Two flights in, I got my period. FML

by Jobby / 06/30/2012 at 8:48am / Health

Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML

by Anonymous / 06/30/2012 at 5:45am / Intimacy

Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I was having a debate with my friend over tattoos. I used the example that you wouldn't put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari. He looked me in the eye and said, "Yeah, but you're no Ferrari. More like a Prius." FML

by kitty shah / 06/17/2012 at 1:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I talked to my father for the first time in several years. I proudly told him that I have been attending Beauty School. He looked me up and down and said, "Doesn't look like you've learned much." FML

by beautyschool22 / 06/11/2012 at 7:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML

by Rob / 06/06/2012 at 12:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML

by Anonymous / 02/01/2011 at 8:43am / United States / Love

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2010 at 1:55am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered that my husband is a tad paranoid after finding out that our cat has worms. He and I were in the middle of sharing a romantic shower following something of a dry spell when he bent over, spread his cheeks apart and asked, in earnest, "is there a worm sticking out of my ass?" FML

by Anonymous / 09/06/2010 at 12:20am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, it's the five year anniversary of my father's death. I was cuddling with my boyfriend and crying about how much I missed him. He replied with, "Sometimes, I think you just like to hear yourself talk." FML

by bezoar10 / 05/11/2009 at 3:46pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous