eruditecognition

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eruditecognition

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 January 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 907
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About eruditecognition : ...

eruditecognition's page activity

Visits<b>loumonroe</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 10:45am<b>NicoleP1993</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 10:17pm<b>sparklemuffin</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 10:07pm<b>Narttu</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 12:43pm<b>sophiebecker</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 1:04am<b>fmaae82</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 10:04am<b>theWulff</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 3:31pm<b>bkingkingking</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 6:16pm<b>lambda</b> - the 02/26/2013 at 3:51pm<b>Harshdfml</b> - the 02/26/2013 at 3:32pm<b>FinJage</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 5:39pm<b>ksks1234</b> - the 02/01/2013 at 9:41pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 7:17pm<b>G3K0</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 10:07am<b>mubaki</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 5:18pm<b>Baustigt</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 9:52am<b>QueenMichael</b> - the 12/26/2012 at 11:14am<b>Thegreatreyrey</b> - the 12/25/2012 at 2:46am

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eruditecognition's favorite FMLs

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML

by Anonymous / 11/01/2012 at 7:48am / France (Picardie) / Love

Today, I realized that my five-year-old daughters are deranged psychopaths, when one of them started screaming to get my attention while the other pulled the car door shut on my fingers. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2012 at 12:17pm / Philippines (Manila) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

by SoSexy / 10/07/2012 at 6:25am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, after having bought my daughter a complete set of new school clothes, she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them, or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2012 at 2:22pm / United Kingdom (Wokingham) / Kids

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2012 at 1:49am / United States / Work

Today, a man with a clipboard came up to me in the street to ask me if I was happy with my life insurance. I couldn't bring myself to admit to him that I'm so clueless about my own life that I wasn't sure I was even happy with the Twix I was eating at the time. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 8:49pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 1:57pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Kids

Today, I took a pregnancy test. I was disappointed it was negative, as my fiancé and I have been together for four years and have a strong relationship. He danced with happiness when he discovered the test was negative and tried to high-five me. FML

by BeforeItWasCool / 09/30/2012 at 5:30am / United Kingdom / Love

Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend sighed, said "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2012 at 5:22pm / Canada / Intimacy

Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML

by SadDad / 09/22/2012 at 2:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I was talking on the phone with my crush. After an hour of talking she told me, "If you were half as hot as you sound over the phone, I'd date you immediately." Maybe I should give up on love and start a phone sex line. FML

by annonymous / 09/19/2012 at 2:24am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML

by FauteuilEver Alone / 07/05/2012 at 4:11am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I still can't decide whether masturbating while looking at myself makes me narcissistic or just plain pathetic. FML

by Anonymous / 07/04/2012 at 1:01pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had my end of year physics exam. I wasn't sure about some stuff, so I hid my notes and textbook in the bathroom. Halfway through, I got up, went to the bathroom, and as soon as I picked up the book, forgot what I was looking for. I can't even cheat right. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2012 at 3:23am / Miscellaneous