eruditecognition

Search for a member

eruditecognition

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 January 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 755
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About eruditecognition : ...

eruditecognition's page activity

Visits<b>NicoleP1993</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 10:17pm<b>sparklemuffin</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 10:07pm<b>Narttu</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 12:43pm<b>sophiebecker</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 1:04am<b>fmaae82</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 10:04am<b>theWulff</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 3:31pm<b>bkingkingking</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 6:16pm<b>lambda</b> - the 02/26/2013 at 3:51pm<b>Harshdfml</b> - the 02/26/2013 at 3:32pm<b>FinJage</b> - the 02/24/2013 at 5:39pm<b>ksks1234</b> - the 02/01/2013 at 9:41pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 7:17pm<b>G3K0</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 10:07am<b>mubaki</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 5:18pm<b>Baustigt</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 9:52am<b>QueenMichael</b> - the 12/26/2012 at 11:14am<b>Thegreatreyrey</b> - the 12/25/2012 at 2:46am<b>phatdaddy62</b> - the 12/24/2012 at 5:53pm

eruditecognition's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of eruditecognition's badges

eruditecognition's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my first class of the year. The first thing the teacher said was, "I hate this f*cking school." FML

by swana99 / 09/04/2013 at 4:39pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, after years of training and competing, I realized that the universe does not want me to play the piano. Not only do I have hands that can fit in toddler-sized gloves, my carpal tunnel is already to the point where I have to wear a brace at night, at the ripe old age of 14. FML

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I finished a big art project. It was a self-portrait done in acrylics. Proud of my piece, I showed my mom. After some thought her first comment was, "well, I'm either going to insult your art or your face." FML

by Anonymous / 06/01/2013 at 7:43am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

by life insurance for 1 / 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML

by MsAnonymous17 / 05/26/2013 at 7:20pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend forced me to do stretching exercises with him before and after sex as a "safety precaution". FML

by stretchy / 05/06/2013 at 3:58pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

by wtfmama / 05/04/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, I met my mom's fiancé. He's a nice guy, he's also my wife's dad. I'll soon call my wife my sister. FML

by guy / 03/15/2013 at 1:31am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2013 at 6:00pm / United Kingdom (Staffordshire) / Love

Today, my mom started referring to me as "The Bitch". When I asked her why, she said that I have always been a bitch, but I was never old enough for her to actually call me a bitch. FML

by maggu / 02/10/2013 at 11:26pm / Denmark / Miscellaneous

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. The first thing my dad did was comment that given how pretty she looked in our photos, and compared to how she looks in real life, she's amazing at using Photoshop. FML

by dpap / 01/18/2013 at 6:03pm / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, I had to explain to my fiancé that having me watch him jerk off over a porno is not in fact considered foreplay. FML

by alicia / 12/20/2012 at 5:45pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, my guy friend kept complaining that no one had asked him to the dance, so he probably wasn't going to go. I suggested that we go together. He laughed until his face was bright red and said, "I don't think I'll ever get that desperate." FML

by Anna / 12/02/2012 at 3:03am / United States (Washington) / Love