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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Mobility
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I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39818) - you deserved it (2990)
On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47676) - you deserved it (2974)
On 04/24/2013 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by awkward O_o - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my boyfriend and I were play-fighting. I managed to pin him down and win. He saw my grin, snorted, and bitterly said I'd only won because "let's face it, you're a bit of a porker, eh babe?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27987) - you deserved it (3647)
On 03/13/2013 at 10:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend gave me the most beautiful diamond ring I have ever seen. As I excitedly put it on my finger, he told me it wasn't an engagement ring, but I should wear it like one to keep other men away and seem "unapproachable". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25318) - you deserved it (3493)
On 01/31/2013 at 10:35pm - love - by whatsername92 (woman) - United States
Today, my dad and his new wife got their wedding pictures done. Out of over 150 pictures, I was only in one. The family dog was in all of them. In the one picture of me, I was holding the dog's leash while he took a dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29256) - you deserved it (1572)
On 01/30/2013 at 4:05pm - animals - by puppydrama - United States
Today, I have an ear infection. The pain from it radiates from my ear all the way down the left side of my face, so my doctor prescribed me something that makes half of my face numb and pretty much unusable. Tomorrow, I have to give a presentation on strokes for my med class. Go figure. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17169) - you deserved it (975)
On 11/20/2012 at 5:41am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18080) - you deserved it (2103)
On 10/31/2012 at 6:06am - misc - by hakuna matata - United States (California)
Today, I was called into my 17-year-old son's high school. Why? Because it was Wednesday, also known as "Hump Day" and his friends managed to convince him that you're supposed to go around and hump people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15260) - you deserved it (1633)
On 09/19/2012 at 7:33pm - kids - by Judy - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, at work, I decided to make things more interesting, so when I called people I used a fake accent. As I was using an Australian accent, the person I was talking to asked me where in Australia I was from. I desperately replied, "Where the kangaroos are..." I'm now jobless. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4234) - you deserved it (22596)
On 08/09/2012 at 5:42pm - work - by sincerely depressed. - United States (California)
Today, a lady told me her husband had sinus surgery. I replied, "Oh, I know someone who just had that done." I then realized I meant Alexis on The Real Housewives of the OC. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4725) - you deserved it (16149)
On 04/03/2012 at 11:53pm - misc - by gaagaa - United States
Today, I was using the bathroom and checking Facebook on my phone. As I'm checking my news feed, I notice a new photo upload by my brother. I guess I forgot to shut the door to the bathroom, because it's me on the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12864) - you deserved it (30003)
On 11/19/2011 at 7:52pm - misc - by beccabooyah - United States
Today, a woman came to my counter and ordered 12 donuts, I said "OK sure, a dozen donuts." She paused, looked at me with disgust and yelled "I said 12, NOT a dozen." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37221) - you deserved it (2765)
On 12/20/2010 at 8:52pm - work - by morenita27 (woman) - Canada
Today, the elderly couple next door asked me to cut down a tree in their yard. It turns out they told me to cut down the wrong tree, and I cut down the tree they got married under. They now hate me and tell me they plan to sue me for damage to property. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26852) - you deserved it (3052)
On 12/23/2009 at 3:46am - work - by jordigs (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, a hot girl got into the elevator just as I took a bite out of my Three Musketeers bar. I instinctively smiled at her and chocolate drool poured out of my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21848) - you deserved it (42681)
On 05/05/2009 at 10:17am - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I bought a coral colored hooded sweatshirt, which my girlfriend told me was "hot". I wore it to a baseball game tonight. When it got cold I put the hood over my head, only to hear everyone behind me laugh. The back of the hood said "Boy crazy". It was a teen girls sweatshirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14426) - you deserved it (51113)
On 04/14/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by khood (man) - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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