Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

epicfail13337

Search for a member

epicfail13337

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 28 September 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3857
  • Number of comments : 114
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About epicfail13337 : Herp derp.

epicfail13337's page activity

Visits<b>austin_spade</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 1:34am<b>singer0421</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 12:24am<b>Chronical_Mayham</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 10:54pm<b>ecot95</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 12:26am<b>brand125</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 4:19am<b>janei19</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 3:34am<b>TGheat1</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 8:26am<b>thefastestsperm</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 8:25pm<b>ArcheryCole99</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 6:52pm<b>Harpy</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 4:57pm<b>MandyCat484</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 9:37pm<b>glowbaby</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 10:26pm<b>zidiko</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 3:30pm<b>whyusofat</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 6:31am<b>itawebbies</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 1:59pm<b>Helldemon</b> - the 05/25/2013 at 4:24pm<b>ajax_united</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 12:31am<b>Furby94</b> - the 02/28/2013 at 9:55pm

epicfail13337's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of epicfail13337's badges

epicfail13337's favorite FMLs

Today, I was relaxing alone at a bar when I was approached by the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen. She was too good to be true, so I asked, "Is this some kind of a prank?" She immediately turned around and left. She thought I was calling her ugly. I'll never see her again. FML

#1047922
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16352) - you deserved it (72897)

On 04/17/2009 at 2:29am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to babysit. I was told the parents would be gone when I arrived. I went and started playing with the kids. All of a sudden I heard a scream. I opened the parents' door with a knife in hand to find them having sex. I got paid so adults could get laid. While I was there. 6 ft. away. FML

#1043962
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58094) - you deserved it (3144)

On 04/17/2009 at 12:14am - intimacy - by babysitter (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

#853708
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92036) - you deserved it (27461)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I developed the disposable camera pictures from my family's trip to Disney World. I noticed that in the pictures I took of them in front of the big castle at Magic Kingdom, my wife and son were standing a few feet away from a man who was touching himself. FML

#688806
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58345) - you deserved it (3553)

On 03/29/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, while lying in bed with my girlfriend and she was grabbing the fat on my stomach I said to her "stop touching my fat". She replied "so don't touch you at all?" FML

#656486
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50007) - you deserved it (22847)

On 03/28/2009 at 1:43am - misc - by justinherass (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was taking the metro into DC for my internship. Two guys came in and started talking to each other in Arabic. One boy turned to the other said "Do you think shes cute?" The other responded "Her face is hideous but she has nice tits." I am fluent in Arabic. They were looking at me. FML

#622063
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82840) - you deserved it (4754)

On 03/26/2009 at 2:08pm - misc - by sweet (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

#618909
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (200204) - you deserved it (31574)

On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pockets. Turns out, he had written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

#473847
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (127939) - you deserved it (13056)

On 03/19/2009 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by ufhdafuhds (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, I learned I made the dean's honor list for my college for the first time since attending. I asked my dad if he was proud of me, to which he replied, "when you're as successful as your brother, I'll be proud." My brother is a Chippendale's dancer. FML

Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML

#448904
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31397) - you deserved it (138410)

On 03/18/2009 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by Melaknee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went home for my grandma's 95th birthday. While there she noticed my new tongue piercing and asked why I would get it done. Before I could reply, my cousin says "So she can can make the boys happier when she's sucking on them." She's 9 years old. FML

#261877
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54851) - you deserved it (11710)

On 03/10/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by epictothemax - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was driving down the road when I got to a red light. I looked over and saw a hot chick in a convertible so I spoke to my window thinking she couldn't hear me "Hey girl, I may have a tiny dick but I make up for it in speed and stamina." She looked over. I forgot about the sunroof. FML

#239452
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8393) - you deserved it (79069)

On 03/08/2009 at 12:36am - intimacy - by Smash_Mouth - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to get a sports physical at a hospital. My nurse was morbidly obese and unattractive. She told me she would go through the tests listed on the sheet. She did everything, including feeling my genitalia. When it was done, I read over the sheet. Genitalia wasn't a test listed. FML

#162461
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (155841) - you deserved it (13877)

On 02/28/2009 at 4:58pm - health - by TahRah (man) - United States (Virginia)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: