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eore

Offline (the 09/18/2014 at 6:19pm) | Search for a member

eore

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 179
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About eore : I love animals and moustaches I play hockey soccer football volleyball basketball

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eore's favorite FMLs

Today, the police knocked on my door, saying that they needed to investigate my house for animal abuse. Apparently the neighbours called, reporting a "screeching bird in pain". I have no bird, but I have been singing quite loudly recently. FML

#21244302
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37671) - you deserved it (5009)

On 08/24/2014 at 8:40am - animals - by abusedparrot - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44528) - you deserved it (7542)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when we heard a screech. My two cats were having it harder than us. FML

#21241441
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41830) - you deserved it (5387)

On 08/20/2014 at 2:07am - intimacy - by Mia (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while I was at the dentist, I couldn't stop gagging when he tried to put a tab in my mouth to get an x-ray. As I left, I overheard him saying, "I feel sorry for her boyfriend." FML

#21238932
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47583) - you deserved it (7670)

On 08/16/2014 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by gag reflex - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38877) - you deserved it (24029)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

#21233355
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49214) - you deserved it (19422)

On 08/09/2014 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, one of my customer's pipes were blocked. As I went to unblock it, about a handful of used condoms collided with my face. I don't know if I should be disgusted by this or disgusted by my customer. FML

#21231545
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43622) - you deserved it (3831)

On 08/07/2014 at 5:09am - intimacy - by failallday (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

#21218442
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50098) - you deserved it (11745)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, me and my boyfriend decided to have some fun in my room before my parents got home. My phone started vibrating half-way through, and when I saw my mom's picture, I reflexively answered. It wasn't a phone call. It was a face time. Busted. FML

#21208909
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28628) - you deserved it (45319)

On 07/14/2014 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by Ob3nie - United States (California)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

#21196202
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43146) - you deserved it (24046)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to CVS to buy some tampons. The cashier said, "Ewwww... You're on your period." FML

Today, my boyfriend's parents' parrot won't stop imitating my sex moans, and keeps doing it whenever I speak. FML

#21119041
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49732) - you deserved it (13818)

On 04/21/2014 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by sexual parrot -

Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML

#20982965
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50822) - you deserved it (5306)

On 12/06/2013 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my mother came over to my apartment for a surprise visit. It wasn't until after she left that I realized that I left a half empty bottle of adult toy cleaner on the counter in the bathroom. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

#20889434
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50105) - you deserved it (33795)

On 09/20/2013 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



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