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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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eonkiller

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eonkiller
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 215
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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eonkiller's favorite FMLs

Today, my crush went on webcam on MSN. He looked really adorable, so I took about 6 screen shots and copied them into paint. I accidentally took a screenshot of my screen with all the pictures on paint and copied it into the conversation. FML

#7575221 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (4349) - you deserved it (25839)

On 01/25/2010 at 8:16pm - misc - by 420dits (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML

#7336635 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (8433) - you deserved it (19102)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:55am - work - by Oops (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my fiancé was performing oral on me, when I heard him start making a "Waka waka waka waka" noise. He confessed to pretending to be Pacman. FML

#5629622 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (14888) - you deserved it (3119)

On 10/03/2009 at 9:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while walking in the mall, I had two people race past me in wheelchairs. Thinking they were racing, I started rooting for the one guy that was ahead. Turns out his wheelchair was malfunctioning and the other was chasing after to help. He then slammed and fell into the water fountain. FML

#3074596 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (32694) - you deserved it (11477)

On 06/20/2009 at 10:29pm - misc - by meantowheels (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

#2147353 (358)

I agree, your life sucks (68941) - you deserved it (32611)

On 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by a (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was laying in bed naked and blindfolded. I told my boyfriend he could do anything he wanted to me. About 30 minutes later I get out of bed and find him in the computer room play World of Warcraft. His friends needed him. FML

#1524498 (404)

I agree, your life sucks (75812) - you deserved it (9736)

On 05/01/2009 at 1:40pm - intimacy - by chelle (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

#761206 (480)

I agree, your life sucks (167978) - you deserved it (51066)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

#618013 (863)

I agree, your life sucks (43453) - you deserved it (361062)

On 03/26/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Tourist (man) - United States (California)

Today, I texted my boyfriend to see if he wanted to finally have sex today. His response was "Can't, Platinum just came out." I didn't know what that meant so I searched "Platinum 3-22-2009" on Google. I found out he's talking about a new Pokemon game. FML

#542382 (453)

I agree, your life sucks (93984) - you deserved it (14504)

On 03/22/2009 at 10:15pm - intimacy - by thisreallysucks2 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while babysitting, the oldest little girl who is 7 went through my purse. She pulled out a half empty bottle of lube. She asked what it was and I told her lotion. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, the bottle was empty and there were 4 kids covered in lube. Then their mom came home. FML

#142269 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (33855) - you deserved it (18963)

On 02/26/2009 at 11:08am - kids - by iailwkrb (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML

#56665 (529)

I agree, your life sucks (141717) - you deserved it (53040)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)