enriqa

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Offline (the 10/30/2014 at 1:13am)

enriqa

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1126
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

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enriqa's page activity

Visits<b>Barr3lR0ll</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 5:31am<b>pattayarick</b> - the 01/04/2013 at 11:19pm

enriqa's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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enriqa's favorite FMLs

Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML

by Mr.no contacts / 03/31/2013 at 3:00am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

by je_regrette_tout / 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm / Intimacy

Today, I had my girlfriend over for dinner with my family. My father had dressed up as a girl for a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and my girlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. FML

by BadLuckCarson / 02/12/2013 at 12:55am / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

by Anonymous / 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML

by Master Debater / 02/01/2013 at 6:05am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, my current boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend got into a fight about when my birthday is. They were both wrong. FML

by EmberLove / 01/17/2013 at 9:06am / United States / Love

Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 8-year-old sister matter-of-factly said that she's going to get married before me if I don't stop wearing track pants. FML

by Kendra_Nine / 01/16/2013 at 1:28pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad made a voodoo doll out of a melon. This seems to happen a lot. FML

by Anonymous / 01/09/2013 at 2:02am / Israel / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

by gaggin / 12/26/2012 at 2:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML

by Igor / 12/19/2012 at 12:16am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health