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ennamae17's FML badges
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ennamae17's favorite FMLs
Today, I discovered that I'm adopted. How? After a great lunch, I asked my uncle how he'd made the salad dressing. He replied, "Haha! It's a secret family recipe, my dear!" I wouldn't have thought twice about it, were it not for my parents' shocked expressions, and the long, awkward silence. FML
by Lyn / 07/06/2012 at 6:14pm / France / Miscellaneous
by creeped out / 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/09/2012 at 12:51am / United States (Mississippi) / Love
Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML
by ugh / 06/08/2012 at 12:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab something to eat. I entered the kitchen, only to see my stark-naked dad sitting at the table, eating cereal and reading the paper. He just nodded at me and said, "Son." I think I need a new pair of eyes. FML
by Rohirus / 06/07/2012 at 7:09pm / Sweden / Miscellaneous
by girly girly / 05/26/2012 at 10:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by whinywiper / 05/25/2012 at 11:10am / Canada / Miscellaneous
by XxEmoWolfiexX / 05/24/2012 at 5:18pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals
Today, I was reading a book on paper for the first time in maybe a month. I had to stop at a word I did not recognise. Because I'm so used to using a Kindle, I tried to get the definition by pressing it. I had my finger on the word for a few seconds before I realised it was paper. FML
by Bilze / 05/17/2012 at 2:57pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in the hospital with rib injuries after being rear-ended by a truck. The doc said, "Well, you'll probably feel like you've been hit by a truck for a while." Everyone laughed, except me. When I said he was being insensitive, he replied, "Calm down, I'm just ribbing you." FML
by ...... / 05/16/2012 at 6:29pm / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 05/14/2012 at 11:52pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/13/2012 at 11:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by picklet / 05/12/2012 at 10:36am / Malaysia (Negeri Sembilan) / Work
Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML
by rongo12 / 05/11/2012 at 5:41pm / Miscellaneous
Today, it was my birthday. I was heading back to my apartment and I heard noises inside the door. Assuming it was the surprise party I'd hinted at, I flicked on the lights as two heavy guys pushed past me. I was robbed. FML
by Anonymous / 05/10/2012 at 8:28pm / United States / Money
- Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled… Today, my girlfriend and I broke up. The reason? She slept with four men while I was two weeks away… Today, my boyfriend posted a screenshot from a porno on my Facebook, because the girl in it looked…