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energeticx3

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energeticx3

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energeticx3's favorite FMLs

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. The guy who picked up sounded drunk, told me to fuck off, and hung up. FML

#21342247
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39102) - you deserved it (3340)

On 01/22/2015 at 12:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I tripped over a "wet floor" sign at work and hit the floor hard. The floor wasn't even wet. FML

#21336915
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28358) - you deserved it (4368)

On 01/14/2015 at 10:35am - work - by kronic1990 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out I was the top ranking sales person for 2014. What did last year's winner receive? An all-expenses paid weekend holiday. What did I receive? A ham. I'm vegetarian. FML

#21321989
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34391) - you deserved it (3541)

On 12/22/2014 at 9:24am - work - by Bahhumbug (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

#21180516
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50583) - you deserved it (14261)

On 06/19/2014 at 10:37am - love - by stopinthenameoflove - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my boyfriend yelled at me from the other room for washing the dishes "too loudly". FML

#21063397
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43030) - you deserved it (6400)

On 02/17/2014 at 1:28pm - love - by kj1 (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend's cat for staring at me, then cried about it for an hour. Pregnancy life. FML

#21056743
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44755) - you deserved it (9372)

On 02/10/2014 at 10:16pm - animals - by alii2349 - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, someone hit my parked car. The impact caused the front of the car to go up onto the sidewalk, and I got a ticket for parking there. FML

#21046882
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48847) - you deserved it (3748)

On 02/01/2014 at 2:47am - misc - by ccgundum (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML

#21042040
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21675) - you deserved it (57455)

On 01/27/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by :( (man) - Algeria

Today, after getting a root canal, I told my mother how boring it was just sitting there with my mouth open for ages while the dentist did his work. She then told me how she had to do the same kind of thing on her anniversary night with my father. FML

#20968136
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43681) - you deserved it (4382)

On 11/23/2013 at 4:57pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina

Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML

#20965644
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56012) - you deserved it (12510)

On 11/21/2013 at 11:10am - misc - by smooth (man) - United States

Today, while working at McDonald's, an angry customer called asking for his money back. Apparently we'd put 6 cheeseburgers in his bag instead of 5, he ate them all and now feels sick. FML

Today, after just having used the bathroom, my ring fell in the toilet. After stealthily removing it with a toothbrush, I went to go wash it in the sink. It then fell down the drain. FML

#20960472
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42865) - you deserved it (12914)

On 11/17/2013 at 1:00am - misc - by LizGo - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was watching TV when my sister-in-law called me, laughing. It turns out my brother got his head stuck between the bars on the stairs. Again. My brother is 29. FML

#20957769
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38058) - you deserved it (2811)

On 11/14/2013 at 5:44pm - misc - by AshlynnPrime - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was at a family meeting about opening up a business. During it, I had an allergic reaction and my throat began to close. Nobody tried to help. In fact, pictures were taken. FML

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML

#20933730
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53387) - you deserved it (9128)

On 10/25/2013 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Dick the Greater (man) -



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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