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emvfurrow

Offline (the 05/18/2015 at 11:54pm) | Search for a member

emvfurrow

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 25 February 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 694
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About emvfurrow : :)

emvfurrow's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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emvfurrow's favorite FMLs

Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML

#21269654
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32830) - you deserved it (4548)

On 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm - kids - by mykodu - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

#21227114
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45772) - you deserved it (7798)

On 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by WickedRene (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

Today, I saw a cute guy and decided to say hi. As I started to think about things to talk about, one story in particular about a drummer who looked like Jesus stuck out in my mind. I was so nervous that instead of saying hi, I blurted out, "Some people look like Jesus!" and took off. FML

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

#21116666
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42402) - you deserved it (8303)

On 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a customer at work pronounced the word "Asian" as "Ah-See-Awn" when ordering a salad. I wasn't allowed to say anything. FML

#21065187
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34788) - you deserved it (3862)

On 02/19/2014 at 1:24am - work - by PaneraSucks - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56412) - you deserved it (3176)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML

#20937890
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49402) - you deserved it (5336)

On 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML

Today, I told my boyfriend that, due to my low self-confidence, all my bras are push-ups. He yelled, "EVERYTHING I KNEW IS A LIE" and stormed out. FML

#20850669
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43745) - you deserved it (10898)

On 08/23/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he discovered that if he hits a certain area just right, my leg starts shaking like a dog. Now he won't stop patting my head and saying, "Who's a good girl?!" FML

#20727770
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61962) - you deserved it (9626)

On 06/15/2013 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by woof woof?? (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69893) - you deserved it (19784)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML

#20698551
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59990) - you deserved it (5021)

On 06/01/2013 at 12:31am - health - by Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized my family is the textbook definition of redneck after listening to my grandpa threaten to smash with an excavator the trailer that my uncle lives in behind our house if he didn't return the set of tires he had stolen and pawned from my grandpa's garage. FML

#20683275
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37439) - you deserved it (3488)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:06am - misc - by redneckfamily - United States (Washington)



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