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emvfurrow

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emvfurrow
  • Town/Country : Canada
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 25 February 1990 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 128
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About emvfurrow : :)

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emvfurrow's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

#21116666
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30062) - you deserved it (5490)

On 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a customer at work pronounced the word "Asian" as "Ah-See-Awn" when ordering a salad. I wasn't allowed to say anything. FML

#21065187
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33034) - you deserved it (3416)

On 02/19/2014 at 1:24am - work - by PaneraSucks - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49633) - you deserved it (2360)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML

#20937890
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44301) - you deserved it (4580)

On 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I told my boyfriend that, due to my low self-confidence, all my bras are push-ups. He yelled, "EVERYTHING I KNEW IS A LIE" and stormed out. FML

#20850669
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40767) - you deserved it (9936)

On 08/23/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he discovered that if he hits a certain area just right, my leg starts shaking like a dog. Now he won't stop patting my head and saying, "Who's a good girl?!" FML

#20727770
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51948) - you deserved it (7246)

On 06/15/2013 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by woof woof?? (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63178) - you deserved it (17993)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML

#20698551
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52846) - you deserved it (4411)

On 06/01/2013 at 12:31am - health - by Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized my family is the textbook definition of redneck after listening to my grandpa threaten to smash with an excavator the trailer that my uncle lives in behind our house if he didn't return the set of tires he had stolen and pawned from my grandpa's garage. FML

#20683275
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32484) - you deserved it (3064)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:06am - misc - by redneckfamily - United States (Washington)

Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband and I, for a laugh, did our first dance to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" with stupid moves and everything. 200 guests. Nobody laughed. FML

#20618965
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43643) - you deserved it (24301)

On 04/24/2013 at 6:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML

#20607466
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48104) - you deserved it (6309)

On 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand

Today, after years of loaning my mother countless amounts of cash that never get paid back, borrowing $60 from her, and being just one day late paying it off due to food poisoning, she sends a very large man to my door to collect, like she's Tony Soprano. FML

#20601228
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43526) - you deserved it (4339)

On 04/18/2013 at 12:01am - money - by some people's parents - United States (Colorado)

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML

#20568440
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28957) - you deserved it (4447)

On 03/31/2013 at 1:55pm - love - by immaturity all around (woman) - United States



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